Thank Goodness It's.....

FRIDAY!!!

Finally.  The week is over.  This has been a very long week.  I had a couple of really bad days and a couple of ok days.  I think I would classify today as an ok day. 

I got to work around 8:30 and I started working as soon as I sat down.  I was busy the entire day!  I had to prepare a bunch of stuff because I was going to be out of the office all next week for California.  Hurrayyyyyy!

I had lunch with two really great friends, Terri and Chet.  We went to Thai food and I had the lunch special.  Terri was kind enough to pay, which was so nice. 

I learned that the Social Media position that I'm interested in is going to be posted next week, and I'm excited to apply. 

Tonight I'm craving mashed potatoes so Arthur is making some.  Also, a pizza.  He got a weird frozen pizza in the mail from a survey company.  He's supposed to try cooking and tell them what he thinks.  I'm excited for the potatoes.  ;)

Tomorrow is get ready for trip day.  I will, however, be sleeping in.  I don't think I can deal with another 5:00 AM wakeup day.  Ugh!

How far along:  8 weeks, 1 day
How much time left:  31 weeks, 6 days
Top two symptoms:  Headache and Exhaustion.  My nausea was under control today because I really tried to keep my stomach half-full.  The headache was really bad before lunch, so I tried to eat some chocolate before I headed out.  It seemed to help. 

Favorite thing I ate today:  Tom Ka soup from the Thai restaurant.  It is a coconut milk soup, and I had it with some Jasmine rice.  Soo good!

Mood:  My mood today was good to great.  There were a few times during the day that I was super exhausted, but I tried to stay as happy as I could.

Worried about:  A few things.  The workload when I get back from vacation and being comfortable on the ride to and back from California.  I hope I can have a chance to get out and walk on the drive.  My legs will go crazy!!

Excited for:  Not thinking about work for a whole week.  :)

Whoops! Sorry I'm late...

I don't think I've meant to not blog these past 3 days... I think I just haven't felt very well and logging in to type how I'm feeling just hasn't sounded very fun.

My last post was on Sunday, and I was really struggling that day.  Since then, I've appreciated coming back to work and focusing on something other than being pregnant.

As of yesterday, I've started dealing with nausea at night that is so severe that I'm starting to throw up.  I went to Panda Express last night with Arthur and his little sister to celebrate her birthday.  When I got home, I was so nauseous that I threw up.  It was bad news bears.

I took a bath after to try to calm down and feel better, but going to sleep is really the only thing that helped me feel normal.  I am feeling slightly out of it this morning.

The good news is all of this, I'm not too tired today and I'm looking forward to this weekend because we are going to California!  We planned this vacation before I knew I was pregnant, and so I'll just have to be careful with not riding most rides.  We are going to Vegas on Sunday night, the driving to Disneyland on Monday.  We'll stay 4 nights in Anaheim and during those days we'll go either down to San Diego to Sea World, Universal Studios or to Disney.  We'll stay Friday night in Vegas at the Luxor, and then come back on Saturday so we can spend Sunday getting ready for a new week.

I'm looking forward to the time off most of all.  :)

In other news, my mom brought me a "care package" at work yesterday because I was so sick the night before.  I called her crying on Tuesday night because I was so sick.  She brought me some Andes mints, some caffeine free Diet Coke, some protein shakes and some mint tea.  She also brought me a couple of baby toys, the first ones we've received.  It was so nice of her.

Arthur and I also had fun last night with his little sister to celebrate her birthday.  We went to a place called "Color Me Mine" and we painted pottery with glaze.  It was really fun.  I will post pictures once they are ready to be picked up.  :)

How far along:  8 weeks TODAY!
How much time left:  32 weeks
Top two symptoms:  Nausea and bloating

Favorite thing I ate today:  So far, I haven't had much to eat.  I'm looking forward to eating something for lunch.  Not sure what I'm going to have, but I'm feeling like a TeriYaki Grill salad.  Yum...

Mood:  A little hopeless and frustrated with my body.  I know that it's a good thing that I'm feeling so gross, because it means that my baby is growing.  I struggle to feel positive and excited when I feel like dying inside.  I'm sure that focusing on something else, like vacation will help me get my mind off of everything.  :)

Worried about:  Being sick while on vacation.  I'm going to try to pack lots of snacks so I don't get an empty stomach and make sure I have plenty of time to sleep when possible. 

Excited for:  Pirates of the Caribbean!  Also, Disneyland food!  And, buying baby stuff from Disneyland!!  Wooo!

I would like to call this my "Blahg"

Blahg, because I feel blah today.  Now, close your eyes.  Think back to the worst bout of flu you ever had.  How did your head feel?  What about your stomach?  Did you feel like eating anything?  What about your energy?  How much did you have?  Now.  Picture doing normal, everyday things while feeling like this, all while acting positive.  Showering?  Working?  Cleaning? 

I am trying really, really hard to not stay positive, but to stay sane.  I know that this is EXACTLY what I signed up for, and I would never ever trade it, for anything.  I would have love to have prepared myself mentally for what this is.  I know there is no preparation for parenthood, or pregnancy... I think I just assumed that I would have control over a few things and would be used to the feelings of nausea and low energy.  I get that stuff anyways with gastric bypass.  But to be honest, this is not nausea, or exhaustion.  This is the flu.  But, it never stops.  Add on a headache that feels like a wooden vice is wrapped around your head, and the screws tighten every minute, or until you take a Tylenol or lie down.  The main things that make me feel better are lying down and sleeping. 

Now that I've got that over with, I feel slightly better.  Not really, but I figured I should write down how I'm feeling.  I know for a fact that I will never remember this a year from now, when I have a sweet little baby who is all I've ever wanted. 

I sincerely apologize to those of you who are reading this who just want to feel these symptoms and understand these emotions as your own.  It is not my intention to complain or downplay the miracle that is my pregnancy.  I do feel it is important to call out the frustrating things as well as the positive things.  I don't think I completely understood what this would feel like, for me anyway.  Some don't even have these symptoms or to the severity that I'm having them.  I might just be a baby, or unable to cope, but I'm experiencing them all the same. 

I am going to re-commit to trying to be more positive and focus on what I am enjoying as part of this experience.  I am enjoying having a family who is very excited for us.  I am enjoying having a husband who is endlessly patient with me, and even though I can tell he gets frustrated with me for being so lazy and so sick, he quietly does what he can to make sure I handle what I can, while he takes care of the rest.

So, I'm sure you can see what I did today.  I lay around a lot.  I did a few chores, and Arthur did the rest.  I worked a little bit in the morning because I had an end-of-week deadline.  Other than that, a bunch of naps and even more naps.

How far along:  7 weeks, 3 days
How much time left:  32 weeks, 4 days
Top two symptoms:  THE FLU OF DEATH.  Also, feelings of hopelessness and being done.

Favorite thing I ate today:  A vegan chicken patty.  Strange, but it was absolutely delicious.

Mood:  I won't rehash what I've typed above.  Let's just say... "unpleasant". 

Worried about:  Breaking eggshells.

Excited for:  Something else aside from pregnancy to focus on.  Work, anything.  Again, I would not trade this for anything in the world.  I made this choice, and I wanted - even prayed for it.  I'm not taking it back.  I'm just asking for a bit of relief. 

Relaxaturday

Today has been a very, very lazy day.  I haven't accomplished anything but playing games and watching TV.  It's been nice to have a day to do nothing.  :)

I woke up this morning for the first time at 4:30 after going to bed around 1:00 AM.  That was for my first pee of the day.  I was able to go back to sleep in my own bed until about 7 for my second pee.  Then I couldn't sleep in my bed any longer and had to eat something.  I made some toast and some yogurt.  I ate them and took my vitamins.  I was still so exhausted, so I went downstairs and went back to sleep on the couch.  I slept until about 9:30.  Then I woke up and peed and went back to sleep until almost 1.  I finally felt like I'd had enough sleep.

That's a rough part of this time in the pregnancy.  I can't just sleep through the night and get a solid 8 or 10 hours.  It comes in bouts with interruptions of needing to empty my bladder.  :\

Arthur and I had some lunch together and we watched Survivor and a few other shows.  I decided I needed to take a bath, because my body was hurting everywhere.  So I did that, and then sent a few Facebook messages to extended family letting them know I was pregnant.

I know that because our immediate families know, the news was going to spread like wildfire.  So, trying to catch those that should know directly from me, I sent them messages letting them know.

It felt good getting a few replies already, and I think they appreciated being told personally.

Tonight, I'm not feeling so hot, so Arthur and I are going to skip Ka'Lea's baptism.  I feel bad, but I also know that pushing myself to get up and out won't make me very happy.  I appreciate that Arthur is ok with staying in tonight.  :)

We're having leftovers from Thanksgiving tonight, which I'm way excited about.  Then we're going to go get a mint chocolate chip shake, my craving of the day.  I actually started craving it last night, but it's not gone away and so I need to eat it soon. 

How far along:  7 weeks, 2 days
How much time left:  32 weeks, 5 days
Top two symptoms:  Headache and body aches.  Today I also felt very out of it.  Blahhhh.

Favorite thing I ate today:  White toast on Grandma Sycamore's bread with strawberry jam.  So good.

Mood:  Because I felt gross, I've been pretty disconnected and frustrated today.  I hope I feel better tomorrow because I have to do my chores and stuff.  Gross. Gross. Gross.  

Worried about:  I still worry about keeping my pregnancy healthy so I don't miscarry.  I know that every day I progress, that I'm getting closer to when I'm in the "safer zone".  The second trimester means that my chances of miscarrying are lowered significantly.  I'm looking forward to that time, for sure. 

Excited for:  Something totally random!  I told my cousin Andrea, who is married to my cousin Justan that I'm pregnant.  She offered to knit me a newborn hat!  I was so happy to hear she wanted to do that!  I will have to think of a cute idea to have her knit.  I think I'll wait to find out the gender first.  :)

Announcement Thursday and Friday!

Happy Black Friday!  By the clock, it's actually almost 1:00 AM on Saturday morning, but to me it's still Friday because I haven't gone to bed yet.  It's a wonder that I'm still awake!

I didn't get to blog yesterday because it was such a crazy Thanksgiving day.  Arthur and I woke up early and he started cooking around 8:30 AM.  He cooked straight through until everyone arrived at our house, around 4:00 PM.

I am a terrible cook, so I didn't do much of anything to prepare the food.  What I did was clean.  I cleaned the family room, the living room, the bathrooms and the dining room.  It was a joint effort in that way.  I can't even imagine what it would be like to have to do all of the cooking and cleaning by myself.  I admire my mother-in-law and my mom even more now after seeing how much work goes into one Thanksgiving dinner.

Arthur was a rockstar.  He cooked a 24 pound turkey, mashed potatoes, two kinds of gravy, two kinds of green bean casserole, 4 kinds of stuffing, sweet potato yams, corn, cranberry sauce and 7 different kinds of pies.  Everything was from scratch.  He never sat down once, all day.  He cooked straight through the day.  His only break was to take a shower, and during that time I helped him by watching the potatoes to make sure they didn't boil over.

Dinner was delicious and we had a big group.  It was Arthur's family, including his mom, his dad, his brother Eli, his sisters Sunny and Autumn, his Great Aunt Joan, and his mom's friend from work, Patrick.  Arthur is taking the picture so he's not in it.  Here's our Thanksgiving table:

After dinner, we played a game with the group.  We played Scribblish.  It's a really fun drawing game.  After the game we were either going to play Settlers of Qatan or watch Arthur Christmas downstairs.  I asked if we could take a family picture in front of the tree.  I also asked Patrick (the visitor) if he could take the picture.  I showed him how to use the camera, and I went downstairs with the group.  He took a couple of practice pictures and then it was time for our big reveal.  :)

The first picture is right after two practice shots.  Arthur said "Ok, this one is the real one... everybody say... 'GENEVIEVE'S PREGNANT!'  It hadn't sunk in just yet, but the pre-reaction is helpful to compare the other reactions to.  Thank goodness Patrick was good at photography, because he kept snapping shots and got a bunch of great reaction photos.  

Everyone was thrilled.  It was a great way to document the announcement, and I really loved how happy everyone was.  Arthur's mom cried, and we were excited most to tell her because our due date is her birthday (July 11).

After we told everyone, we sat around for a little while and I answered the normal questions like whether or not I am sick.  It was fun talking about it really openly.

All-in-all it was a great day.

Today I couldn't get up to go Black Friday shopping because I was too exhausted from the day before.  I slept in and lounged around the whole day.  I spent a little bit of time working on my picture frame for my mom.  I printed out a picture of each grandchild when they were less than 6 months old.  I put them each in a picture frame with 4 windows.  In the bottom right corner window, I put a picture of the words "July 11".  Arthur and I wrapped it up and we took it to her this evening.

After we went to Chili's for dinner, everyone was gathered in the living room.  I gave my mom the present and she opened up the frame.  She looked at it for a minute and couldn't understand what the "July 11" meant.  She asked me "What's July 11?  Are you expecting?"  It then hit her and she started screaming.  I looked around at everyone's reaction, and everyone was freaking out.  Adrienne and Leo started to cry and I got up and hugged everyone.  They were all so surprised.  Adrienne was screaming and cheering, she was so happy.  My  mom was also very happy, and was crying.

Brielle and Adam were freaked out because everyone was so happy.  It was great to be able to tell my family because I have been so ready to share the news.  :)

I didn't get any pictures of their reactions because it wasn't really the time or the place to take a bunch of pictures... but the memories are there, and that's what matters.

It turns out that my sister was really sick with Brielle, for her first pregnancy.  She said she also had headaches.  It's comforting to know that she went through those things too.  When we asked Brielle if I was having a girl or a boy, she said I was having a girl.  She also said that I wasn't having twins, just one.  It was cute to hear Brielle get all excited.  I got more hugs from her tonight than I've ever had.  I loved it.

My mom also called my Grandma Frazer (her mother) and I got to tell her.  My mom also called my Aunt Zebby and told her.  It was cool to know that my family knows.  I'm not going to announce it on Facebook, because I really don't think it's the place for me to tell people.  I will probably tell people individually, as the opportunities come up.  I'm not an extremely public person, so the individual method will have to be what it is.

The announcements were a success overall.  :)

How far along:  7 weeks, 1 day
How much time left:  32 weeks, 6 days
Top two symptoms:  Headache and exhaustion.  I took a lot of Tylenol yesterday because my headache was so bad.  My nausea can be controlled by eating.  Exhaustion comes in with not getting enough sleep and feeling generally gross in the morning when I first wake up and not being able to go back to sleep.  :\

Favorite thing I ate today:  Leftover mint chocolate Oreo pie!!  Yummo!

Mood:  Calm, not overly emotional.  I have been able to keep my emotions in check pretty well these past few days. 

Worried about:  Keeping this pregnancy healthy so I can make it to my due date.  Now that I've told everyone, I feel an extra pressure to make sure that I'm not miscarrying.  I know it's completely out of my control, but I can still focus on the positive things I can control, such as my diet and activity level.

Excited for:  Christmas.  Everyone talked about gift ideas when we told them today - and it was fun to think about some of the different things we might get for the baby.  :)  Hurray!!!

Wednesday "Friday"

Three day work week!  Since Thanksgiving is tomorrow, and I get the day after off, it's a short work week.  I worked from home this morning and this afternoon I'm going to help Arthur go shopping for food for tomorrow's Thanksgiving dinner since we're having it at our house.  I'm really excited for the food! 

I didn't get a chance to blog yesterday.  It was a pretty normal day, nothing out of the ordinary.  The good news was that my headache didn't bug me at all during the day, probably because I was able to eat some chocolate and keep it under control.  I still didn't take the medication that was prescribed to me, since I really haven't needed it.  I'm pretty proud of myself for powering through it and keeping my mind focused on the positive.

I found out this morning that I didn't get the job.  I am ok with it, because I was really stressed about how I would have balanced maternity leave with this really stressful position.  I feel like my preparation was not like I would have liked it to be, and I think my stress may have shown through.  It's ok.  I'm going to focus on the positive side, that I didn't have to make a decision and that I can look forward to other opportunities that come up in the next few months.  I can also stop stressing about how I would work a new job against my upcoming December schedule.  It would have been crazy!  I really do like what I do and I'm sad that I feel like I have to look for something different.  But unfortunately, I do.

How far along:  6 Weeks, 6 days - 7 weeks tomorrow!!
How much time left:  33 weeks, 1 day
Top two symptoms:  Terrible, horrible, no good bloating and nausea.  It's dumb that as soon as my headache went away that the bloating dropped in.  Ugh!!!

Favorite thing I ate today:  A tomato!  With salt!  It was so good!

Mood:  Normal.  A little annoyed at my bloating and a little frustrated that I didn't get the job, but overall - I'm ok. 

Worried about:  Getting my announcement stuff ready before tomorrow and Friday to let my family and Arthur's family know I'm pregnant.

Excited for:  Arthur's mom is coming over tonight and I'm excited to make pies with them.  I love to eat pie, I'm just not sure how much I will love making them!  I'm sure it will be a blast.  :) 

UnFunMonday

Happy Monday!  Today was really long.  I had a fairly relaxing weekend, and to have to get up and go back to work... it was tough.  I got to work around 8:00 and had a few meetings in the morning.  Around 9:30 or so, my head pressure issue was getting worse already for the day.  I chatted with my friend who suggested I just call my OB/GYN to see if I should be worried. 

When I called, the nurse said that it wasn't normal, and that I should be checked for high blood pressure.  She asked if I could come in today.  I told her I could take a long lunch, and that I could be there by 11.  She was able to get me in, no problem. 

I left work around 10:15 to get there by 11.  When I checked in, they told me to pee in a cup.  I guess they wanted to see if I really was pregnant.  After I did that, the nurse came in and said that I was pregnant.  It made me laugh, because obviously I know.  :)

She took my weight, I've gained about 10 pounds since I found out I was pregnant.  I think the weight gain is normal.  She said I shouldn't worry too much about it in the first trimester.

She also took my blood pressure and told me I was on the lower range of normal.  It felt good to hear that, knowing that my efforts to eat better had paid off since the last time I went in. 

She took me to another room and I waited for the Dr.  He came in and told me congratulations as well.  He asked me how my symptoms were and thanks to this blog, I was able to tell him exactly when I started to have the head pressure and nausea.  He said that since it wasn't my blood pressure, then it was probably the hormones.  He prescribed me with Fioricet, which is a mixture of caffeine, Tylenol and Butalbital, which is a barbiturate.  I have not been eating any chocolate, or having any caffeine of any kind, so it kind of scared me that he wanted me to take it.  I asked him if it's safe and he said yes.  He said that many pregnant women get headaches, and they take this medication and are just fine.  I am still weary and will only take it if it gets absolutely unbearable.  

After my appointment, I kept working through my daily stuff, and my boss came back from a Dr. Appointment as well.  She sat us all down and told us that she is also pregnant, 12 weeks along.  I'll be 7 weeks on Thursday.  It was interesting to see that she had kept it a secret all along, even when I told her that I was pregnant.  She feels it's bad luck to tell people that you're pregnant until you have a heartbeat.  I felt sort of dumb, mostly because I had been so quick to tell her.  But, I had to realize that everyone is different, and I needed to respect that.  Ultimately, I'm glad to have someone else to go through this with.

Because my Dr. told me at my appointment that it was ok to eat chocolate in limited amounts, I had a few Hershey's peppermint bark kisses.  It really helped!  I also had a bit of chocolate on my pumpkin pie tonight and I don't have any head pressure or pain tonight.  It's a miracle!!  Who would have thunk a little caffeine would help!??

How far along:  6 Weeks, 4 days
How much time left:  33 weeks, 3 days
Top two symptoms:  Exhaustion and Nausea.  Thank goodness the head stuff went away.   :)

Favorite thing I ate today:  Pumpkin Pie!  My little brother and his girlfriend made some for their Friendsgiving yesterday, and so I got to eat the leftovers.  So good!

Mood:  Until I got off of work, my mood was cranky.  Even with the good news of the low blood pressure.  Once I got off of work, I felt like I could disconnect and enjoy time at home. 

Worried about:  How I will handle my new ability to have chocolate.  I will have to be really careful and stay away from it if possible.  I will eat some to keep my headaches at bay, however.  ;)

Excited for:  I am excited for our ultrasound on December 14.  I'm looking forward to hearing our baby's heartbeat and knowing that everything is going well.  For now, I have to rely on my symptoms and the fact that my period still hasn't started.  Phew!!

Movie Sunday

It's Sunday!  It's also my day off.  I am feeling better today than I've felt in awhile, but I'm still really tired.  It's chores day, and I'm struggling with getting started.  Mostly because of how tired I am and because of my back hurting.

I went to bed last night at around 11:30 and woke up the first time at 5:30.  I was proud of myself for sleeping for so long.  My normal wake up time is 3 or 4 AM.  I went back to sleep downstairs until 9:00.  I appreciated the few extra hours.

Arthur made me breakfast, and I appreciated that.  That was one of the many reasons why I married him.  He is such an amazing cook, and even if he makes something simple like eggs cooked in bread (called camel eyes), it is absolutely delicious.  While we ate breakfast, we watched a movie, "What To Expect When You're Expecting."

I really enjoyed the movie.  I laughed a lot, and it made me feel less alone on some of the dumb symptoms.  There are like 5 different pregnancy stories, and every one is different.  One person who is adopting, one person who isn't expecting a baby, one person who is trying, one person who is the girl we all hate, etc.  It's fun to watch some of the things that I am always thinking that I think no one else thinks.

After the movie, I started the laundry and since then I've been thinking of starting my chores.  Chores are a bugger.  I'm so tired and I don't feel like moving much at all.  I know that I was like that before I got pregnant, but now it's even harder to get myself going.

So, I took a nap earlier this afternoon for 1 hour.  It was nice to fall asleep and feel like I was more awake for the rest of the day.  So now I'm eating some lunch and I'll then go finish up my chores for the day.

After my chores tonight, Arthur and I will eat dinner and maybe watch Dexter.  It's a new week, and it's a short week since Thanksgiving is going to give me 2 extra days off (Thursday and Friday).  :)  Hurray for paid time off!!  :)

 How far along:  6 Weeks, 3 days
How much time left:  33 weeks, 4 days
Top two symptoms:  Exhaustion and slight head pressure.  It's better today!!  :)

Favorite thing I ate today:  The camel eyes Arthur made me for breakfast.  So good!

Mood:  Today I have felt physically better than I've felt in awhile.  It kind of scared me after we watched the movie today, that I wasn't feeling like crap.  I'm used to feeling awful all day long.  I have been drinking more water, and maybe that's helping.  My mood overall is ok, maybe still a little bit lazy.

Worried about:   The decrease in symptom severity today.  I looked up "symptoms come and go" on some of my pregnancy message boards and it looks like it's pretty normal.  I still worry that if my symptoms go away then I might miscarry.  I am still staying positive. 

Excited for:  I'm really looking forward to eating Thanksgiving Dinner.  Arthur makes the most delicious mashed potatoes and stuffing.  Sometimes he makes me Thanksgiving Dinner during the year with a smaller sized turkey/turkey breast, since he loves it.  I enjoy it even more on the actual day.  I'm also looking forward to shopping on the day after Thanksgiving.  I love going out early and seeing the angry people grabbing stuff and pushing through long lines.  So awesome.

Every other day?

I seem to be trending every other day for my blog updates.  I know I committed to every day, but some days it is really hard to sit down and dedicate this time.  I know how important it is, so I will really try harder this week to blog every day.  I also know that there are going to be a lot of things going on leading up to me telling friends and family that I'm pregnant, so I want to keep this blog updated as much as I can.

Yesterday was Friday, and I had to work all day.  I went in around 8:30 AM and had a bunch of meetings until 1 or so.  My afternoon meetings were cancelled, which was nice.  I had some pretty annoying nausea and head pressure, so I was grateful to go home a bit early at 3:30 PM. 

On Friday night, I drove home and took a nice long nap until about 5:30.  Arthur came home at about 8 with Chinese food.  I wasn't incredibly hungry.  However, I did have this amazing head pressure that wouldn't go away.   I started feeling it about the same time I started feeling the nausea.  It feels like I've got my head saran wrapped to a piece of board and it's wrapped really tight around my head.  I can feel the pressure in my forehead and scalp just pushing up against my skull.  I got kind of scared last night that it was my high blood pressure, or something similar.  I tried to do some deep breathing to calm myself down, and that seemed to help.  I still have the problem today, it just isn't as bad.

Today was my lazy day.  Arthur had to go to work at 6:30 and be there at 7.  I woke up that early and tried to go back to sleep.  I couldn't until a little later in the morning after I'd eaten something.  I usually don't feel nausea right away when I wake up, which is weird considering that morning sickness is called morning sickness because of how early you usually feel it.  I don't start feeling it until I've been awake at least an hour.

I ate a lot today, but only because I felt extra nauseous.  I made myself French Toast, I had a salad with ranch dressing and green peppers.  I also had a peach and some french fries that I made in the oven.  All delicious things.  :)

Tonight we went to my nephew Adam's birthday party.  I took a bunch of really cute pictures.  I'll try to get them up in this entry a little later.  I would do it now, but the camera is far away and I'll need to upload the pictures. 

Tonight I spent some time at Arthur's mom's house and I was trying to help with some legal things that his brother is dealing with.  I really hope it will work out, and I believe it will if his brother gets more involved. 

How far along:  6 Weeks, 2 days
How much time left:  33 weeks, 5 days
Top two symptoms:  Head pressure and nausea.  The head pressure is the worst part. 

Favorite thing I ate today:  The French Toast I made myself for breakfast.  So delicious, and so easy!  Who would have thought I could cook French Toast?!

Mood:  Today I felt good, due to multiple distractions.  Being around people doesn't allow me to dwell on my symptoms.  I need to remember that.

Worried about:   This darn head pressure.  It's driving me crazy.  It never goes away except for when I'm lying down and about ready to sleep. 

Excited for:  Telling my family on Thursday and Friday.  They will all be so surprised!!  :)

I think I might be...

PREGNANT!  My goodness, I never thought I would really have too many symptoms... but I think on week 6, someone slipped me a pregnancy symptom pill.  I am definitely pregnant now.

I didn't get to blog yesterday because we had an activity in the evening with Brielle and Mike after work.  Arthur and I bought tickets to Disney on Ice back in August, and we wanted to take Brielle to it since she loves Princesses these days.  She was so good, and so happy the whole time.  We went to the Cheesecake Factory at City Creek.  Brielle ordered Mac and Cheese, and she loved it.  She was saying "yum, yum, yum!" over and over again.  It was so cute.

Today was a really rough day.  I really struggled to get through it.  It started out rough, even.  I had a terrible dream that I miscarried... and I was so sad when I woke up.  I know that it wasn't real, though... and that brought me peace and comfort to know that I was actually still pregnant.  Even though I wanted this for so long, and tried and wished and hoped... I didn't really think through the other stuff that comes with it.  I know that when I wasn't pregnant, I told myself that I would embrace any symptom or event that came with it.  I obviously underestimated my ability to stay sane about it.  :)  I just have to keep focusing on the positive and it will all turn out ok.

Today was also rough for other reasons... I had some insecurity issues, some worries about not being liked, and some worries about whether or not I was a good enough friend.  I always think that certain childhood feelings of being left out, or being taken for granted would go away as an adult, and they don't.  I just have to remember that I am not in control of everything, and I have to focus on what I am able to be a part of.

My biggest struggle today aside from not feeling good enough, was feeling physically gross.  I was exhausted, had a headache, and was dealing with a mental block that was almost too big to see past.  I realized that I needed to take a break and so on my lunch I went out and took a nap in my car.  It helped a lot.  I was able to finish up my day OK.

How far along:  6 Weeks TODAY!!
How much time left:  34 Weeks
Top two symptoms:  Today I will pick three because I had 3.  Mental block, exhaustion and nausea in that order.  I tried to snack on saltines and beef jerky throughout the day and that really helped my nausea.  The mental block thing has got to go, though.  I also fought to keep my eyes open most of the day. 

Favorite thing I ate today:  A doughnut from 711 and a slurpee.  I needed a sugar boost after my nap because otherwise, I wasn't going to make it through the day.

Mood:  Today I was G-R-U-M-P-Y.  With all capital letters.  It was awful.  I really tried to stay positive, but being so grumpy didn't allow me to focus on much of anything aside from the stuff that was making me mad.  I will make a conscious effort to be happy tomorrow, and not grumpy.  :)

Worried about:   Thanksgiving at my house.  It's going to be a lot of stress, and I hope that I make it through the day.  Arthur and his mom will probably cook the most part of the meal and I might be able to help with a few things... also, I'll probably spend the day cleaning.  I'm *so glad* I have Thanksgiving and the day after off. 

Excited for:  This trimester to pass.  I am really looking forward to December 14, which is when I will get to hear my baby's heartbeat the first time.  And right now, I'm excited for sleep.  ;)

Death by Nausea

I think the morning (or night) sickness is starting to get real. Oh boy. Where are my saltines!?!?!

x___x

2 days late and a meal short

I haven't blogged in 3 days.  I feel terrible.  Sunday and Monday were such busy days for me, I didn't have a chance to sit down and blog. 

I think I'll give the Campbells Soup version of my past two days so I can get caught up.  

On Sunday, I spent the day doing chores and preparing for an interview I had on Monday.  The job is for an Instructional Designer on the training team.

On Monday, I had the interview.  It went ok.  Afterwards, I didn't feel super excited about how it went, or super bad.  I feel like it went the way it should have gone, and that gave me peace.  If I make it through to the next round, I will have an interview next week. 

After work, Arthur and I went to Shane Co. to get my ring.  We dropped it off on Saturday to have it cleaned.  It was so sparkly!  I've never had it cleaned before, and I've had it for 4 1/2 years. 

Today has been good, not too busy.  I've appreciated the extra time to get some stuff done.  I only had a few meetings and a couple of interviews for people who were applying for our team. 

How far along:  5 Weeks, 5 days
How much time left:  34 Weeks, 2 days
Top two symptoms:  Nausea and Exhaustion.  Today my nausea has been over the top.  I have been getting hungry every 10 minutes or so after I eat.  And it isn't like how I normally feel, where I'm just munchy... it's like a pit in my stomach that makes me want to eat as many things as I can get my hands on.  I thought for sure that cravings and hunger were a myth, but they're not.  I kept telling myself that I was grateful to have these pregnancy symptoms because it means that everything is still ok down there.  :)  Exhaustion has been ridiculous today...  I had to take a nap at lunchtime in my car to feel normal the rest of the day.  :(

Favorite thing I ate today:  Apple slices that my friend Ashley gave me.  They saved the nauseous day!

Mood:  Today my mood was slightly annoyed and frustrated with how I was feeling.  I almost feel like my head is nailed to a piece of wood and I can feel this constant, dull pressure.  That led how I felt the whole day.  I tried to be really positive though, because I know that this is what I've been wanting for so long. 

Worried about:   I'm telling my family in a week that I'm pregnant.  Although I'm excited, I realized that it's coming very fast.  I need to prepare for it.  I also worry about the way I'm feeling physically.  I know that it's normal, but I wish that I had some reassurance from a doctor that I'm ok.  *sigh*

Excited for:  I'm also excited to tell my family.  I am looking forward to the happy tears and the questions about when, and how far along.  Not a lot of people know right now, and the more people that know, the better.  I like to talk about it, and it's helpful to get the additional hope from others.  I want to talk to others who have been through this first part who can reassure me that it's normal.  I'm not really talking about my symptoms with anyone who has felt this way, so I hope I'm normal.  But, I do appreciate more than anything the support that I have had so far.  Without the few that I have shared this with, I wouldn't have been able to get through it with such positivity.  :)

Caturday Saturday

Today was a really lazy Saturday.  We were both home all day and didn't get much accomplished.  We did do some wrapping and that was really fun.

We were supposed to go to my nephew's first birthday party today and we couldn't because everyone was sick at my sister's house.  I was a little sad because Arthur and I had made him his first birthday cake.  Since we couldn't go up, Mike is going to eat it tonight and we're going to put a candle on it and take his picture.  That will be fun.

Here is a picture of the cake:

While Arthur and I were wrapping today, we played with a ribbon with KitKat.  It was really cute.  She is such a good cat.  She never gets mean, and she just licks your fingers if you pet her.  :)

Later this afternoon, I was sitting on my couch in my office, and Arthur came in to join me.  He asked me if he could sit by me, so I cleared a spot for him.  He asked why I hadn't opened up my Eric Carle books, and I told him I was saving them for when our baby is here.  He said he wanted me to read the Hermit Crab one, so I did.  Out loud.  He said he loved it when he was little, so I did it.  You could tell he enjoyed hearing me read a kid's book.  It was a fun moment, and it made me look forward to having those moments with a baby with us too.

Tonight, Arthur is making Pineapple Curry and Pad Thai.  It's my favorite meal.  So good!

Tomorrow is chore day and also I need to prepare for an interview I have on Monday.  I'm not sure if I really want the job because of the added stress and the additional time I'll have to take off to have my baby.  I'm still debating whether or not I'll bring it up in the interview.

If I do get the job, it would be a great opportunity, and a raise.  Who doesn't like a raise?!

How far along:  5 Weeks, 2 days
How much time left:  34 Weeks, 5 days
Top two symptoms:  Exhaustion x 2

Favorite thing I ate today:  I haven't eaten it today, but when I do, it will be Pad Thai.  *DROOL*

Mood:  My mood was good today, but mostly because I was so tired, I struggled to feel super happy.  I think I've felt closer to Arthur today than I've felt in awhile.  I think it's because I had that bad dream last night and I never want to feel that angry at him. 

Worried about:   I hope my exhaustion isn't related to something that is wrong with my baby.  I am sure it's normal, since I read everywhere that exhaustion is just a part of the first trimester.  I'm also a little worried about my job interview and how it could affect my world if I get the job.

Excited for:  As I was decorating the cake for baby Adam last night, I kept thinking about what I would do for my baby's first birthday.  I'll probably do it inside/outside since it's going to be in July.  We might even do a combined party for the July birthdays... but I would prefer to have our own party so my baby can eat a whole cake by themselves.  :)

Bad dream

This morning, Arthur needed to get up to go to work by 7:30 AM.  It snowed all night and we have at least 5 inches outside.  I woke up at 7:10 and realized that his alarm didn't go off an hour earlier like it was supposed to since it's a Saturday and it's just set for weekdays.  Because of the snow and because of his bald tires, he decided not to go in.  We both went back to sleep.  I am cursed with this problem of not being able to go back to sleep once I'm up... and so I was skeptical that I'd be able to do it.

I heard a loud chirp sound as I was going back to sleep and realized it was the fire detector with a low battery.  I told Arthur I wasn't going to be able to sleep until he fixed it.  He got up and fixed 3 different detectors that were beeping.  Bless his tired heart.  He has been achy too, because he spent his whole day off moving his cousin from her apartment to her house.  He actually packed up and moved everything for her, and had a little bit of help, but did most of it himself.  Because it's family, he's obviously not going to ask for any money.

So he had to work all day on his lieu day so he could work all day today.  He's still hurting this morning and so I felt bad asking him to climb to the ceiling to get the smoke alarms... but they drive me nuts when they're going off.

We were both able to drift off to sleep after the fire alarms were fixed.  I was dreaming that Arthur was buying all of this weird home decor, like wall paintings, and wallpaper, and paint.  In my dream, he completely remodeled the kitchen with a pepper/tomato theme.  I kept asking him why and he just kept giving me dumb answers like "You shouldn't be asking that.  I can remodel if I want.  It's my house too."  I couldn't believe it, because I would never consider doing something that drastic with talking to him first.

The next part of my dream I kept noticing all of these things that I didn't recognize... receipts, other random purchases that I didn't know about.  In my dream, he was sitting on a couch cutting up something paper, and I noticed he had an iPad Mini on his lap.  I asked him if he bought that.  He said yes.  I also noticed an iPad 3.  I asked him if it was his.  He said yes.  So he had purchased all of these expensive things without even telling me.  We had recently cashed in my stock and so I couldn't understand why he'd buy these things and not tell me about it, especially since it came from my stocks.

I got so angry in my dream, I yelled at him, and I even swore at him.  I think my anger came from somewhere completely unrelated to electronics and home remodeling.  I think that I was frustrated because he wasn't communicating with me.  And I really can't handle these kinds of things at all.  I know my body was processing through some unknown stress, but it was awful to feel so angry at him.  He has gotten really good at talking to me about big purchases and I have gotten really good about letting some little things go.  It's the balance that comes with marriage.

I think I worry that this could affect me later on when I have a child... when we really do need the money and must communicate about things like this.  He obviously is not going to do anything like this, but it was still scary.  The feelings were real and so I know that I needed to deal with them.

Ultimately, I have to look at the dream in a positive way.  My cousin Ashley once told me that we have bad dreams so we can appreciate how good things actually are.  When I compare how I felt in that dream to how I feel normally, there is no comparison.  I don't deal with those emotions in real life because he has gotten better at communicating with me.

I have more to blog about, so I'll do that later on, but I just needed to get this off my chest.

All is well, I'm awake and I've escaped my dream.  Maybe I can have a nap later today.  :)

Friday... Friday... Which seat should I take?

Happy Friday!!  Today feels like a Saturday, though, because I worked from home this morning and I had the rest of the day off.  Arthur's Great Grandma died last week and she was up in Washington.  They brought her back here to be buried next to her husband in Sandy.  Arthur was really supportive of me when my Grandpa died so I wanted to do the same for him.

It was a nice funeral, and I loved hearing about Arthur's family history.  I don't know much about it, and so whenever I can hear cool stories like I heard today, I love that.  I found out that his Grandma Nelson loved to play games.  I think that is where his dad got it from, and so now I feel differently about the game playing extravaganzas that his family has.  Qatan, anyone?  :)

After the funeral, Arthur and I went shopping for Adam's birthday presents.  He is turning 1 on Sunday, 11/11/12.  I am excited for the party.  I love birthday parties for my niece or nephews.  I sort of blame Brielle and Jackson for making me want kids again.  I had thought for a long time that I don't want kids.  And then when I got to hold and play with them, I realized that I wanted one of my own.  I guess that's what Baby Hungry is. 

There is always the random, occasional person who asks us when we are having kids.  It's usually family and since we're not telling anyone yet, it's difficult to keep a straight face or play it off like "it's just not time yet."  I am looking forward to when I can grin and say "In July!!!"  :)

I read some rubbish online today that says that children who are born in July are least likely to become CEOs.  They say it's because leaders are usually those who are always the oldest in their school class, and those who are developmentally younger (born in June, July, August before the cutoff date) are usually less likely to be leaders.  I don't believe that.  I am going to instill leadership in my children regardless of when they are born.  I was born in May and I was one of the youngest in my class, and I still am a great leader.  So there!!  If my child is reading this some day, know that the only person who can determine your ability to be a leader, and the only person who can judge your success is you.  If anyone ever tries to tell you that you are not good enough, then they obviously don't know you. 

How far along:  5 Weeks, 1 day
How much time left:  34 Weeks, 6 days
Top two symptoms:  Exhaustion and hunger (still)

Favorite thing I ate today:  Three things.  Sweet potato chips, Funeral potatoes and this delicious peach. 

Mood:  I've felt a bit weepy today, but I think that's due to the funeral and the fact that my mom had surgery yesterday.  I do go from normal to teary really easily.  It's hard for me to control my emotions right now.

Worried about: I had a slight worry about finances today.  About all of the things we are going to need to buy for a baby.  We have nothing... we just have a room and that's it.  We will need a crib, drawers, clothing, diapers... ugh!!  Now I know why people have baby showers.  I think I'm going to ask for Babies R Us gift cards for Christmas, lol.  In all honesty, I know that Arthur and I will be fine.  We have some time before next July and we just need to make sure we are planning on adding some additional expenses to our list. 

Excited for:  I am excited for our baby's first Christmas.  I thought about that moment on Christmas morning next year and I imagined bringing our baby downstairs and opening presents as a family.  It made me tear up, and it made me excited all at the same time.  I wish it was now!!  :)

2 for 1

I forgot to blog yesterday, so today is a 2 for 1.  :)  Well, I didn't forget, I just didn't have time.  Yesterday was one of the most busy days I've had in a long time.  I had to be to work at 8:00, and then I had back-to-back meetings all day, until 6:00 PM.  I left work right at 6:00 PM and headed downtown.

I had plans with my friend to go see a documentary at the SLC Downtown Library at a free screening.  The movie is called Birth Story: Ina May Gaskin & The Farm Midwives.  It's about a woman who was a leader for Midwifery in the US during the hippy era.  She had a community on a farm in Tennessee and had a group of other Midwives who helped with the births in the town.

It was really interesting to see this completely different method of birthing, outside of the normal hospital environment.  It really intrigued me.

After the movie, there was a panel discussion and the audience could ask questions.  I asked a question.  I asked the 4 ladies at the front what I could do to learn more about getting involved with a Midwife before I got too involved with an OB.  They said I could go and meet the Midwives at the hospital of my choice (since some hospitals offer a Midwife service) and I could tour the facility to feel more comfortable with the option.  It sounds wonderful to be able to enjoy the experience and not be numb and disconnected.  I want to be involved and aware of everything that happens during the process.  And aside from Natural Birth in a hospital, this seems like the best option that gives me the most control.

After the discussion (around 9:00 PM), I left the library and went up to Bountiful to visit my mom.  She was at Lakeview Hospital after having a small procedure earlier in the day.  I came in, and it was so scary to see her in the hospital bed.  She was as white as a ghost, and she looked so frail.  She was asleep and so I sat in the chair by my dad and waited for a little bit.  My mom woke up for a second and asked my dad to help her throw up.  She had nausea from the pain medication.  I felt so bad for her.  :(

I talked to the nurses and asked them if they could give her something for her nausea and also some less strong pain medication.  She came in and gave my mom something less strong and said she couldn't give her any more anti nausea because she'd already had quite a bit.

I gave my mom some water and some peppermint and she seemed to relax a bit, so I felt like I could leave.  It was about 10:20 by this point.  I got in the car and drove home.  By the time I got there, it was close to 11:30.  I was so tired.

I'm going to head up there today and see her after work.  I hope she's feeling a little bit better.  Maybe I'll take her some flowers.

How far along:  5 Weeks TODAY!
How much time left:  35 weeks
Top two symptoms:  Exhaustion and hunger

Favorite thing I ate today:  Yesterday I didn't eat hardly anything and today so far, it's this veggie sub.

Mood:  Yesterday I felt busy, and disconnected.  Today I'm feeling a little bit weepy.  I think it's related to my mom being in the hospital.  It is getting to me more than I thought it would.

Worried about: I'm worried about not being able to know about all of my options when I have my baby.  I know I can turn this worry into strength by doing the research I need to do.  I also had a bad dream last night that my baby had some physical problems.  I think it's because of the movie I watched... some of the discussion about babies or mothers that don't make it through the birthing process.  I know that this is just my mind playing tricks on me, of course... but it was still scary.

Excited for:  I'm excited for when my baby is out and I get to hold them for the first time.  I also thought a bit about Christmas again.  I think the stuff will make it feel more real.

Election

Tonight was the election.  Arthur and I were both able to Vote.  I am so grateful to live in a country where each individual person can feel like they have a personal ability to contribute to the decisions made at many levels up.

I thought about how this election would potentially impact my baby and my health going forward.  I know that I didn't feel passionate about one candidate or another throughout the race.  I knew that I observed people who I love and respect get extremely upset as the results started to come in.

I need to focus on the positive things in life, and this election was another opportunity for me to know that I am in control of my world, and even if things impact it on the outside of my scope, I have to find peace knowing that I am doing whatever I can to be positive.  If I focus on all of the negative things related to who our leader is, and what his message is, then I know that I will always, always be unhappy for the next 4 years.

I know how important healthcare is to many people.  It is also important to me, because I am going to need it as my baby is born and beyond.  I love that I have a job that provides me with healthcare, and I appreciate knowing that I will still be able to get what I need even if I lose my job.  I understand that not everyone feels the way I do, and some people argue that it is a free ride.  But even if I had a free ride, I am not sure I'd take it.  I don't work just to have healthcare.  I work because I want a happy life and I want to enjoy the American dream.  Healthcare provided by my employer is a fringe benefit, and another reason why I choose to stay with my employer.

Ultimately, I respect my leader and I know that people who can't may be the ones who are going to struggle with positivity and feeling like there is a higher power.  If there is a higher power, then I know that everything happens for a reason and I can't be bothered with feeling disappointment or anger about something I had zero control over.  I think this is a great lesson for everyone involved.

A message to my baby:  Keep a light heart and a positive perspective.  Decide what you want to believe in, based on what you have learned.  Focus on the things you have control over, and leave the things that try to control you.  Love your neighbor and understand that there is probably a bigger plan if something is confusing you.  Appreciate that everyone has the ability to have an opinion and if you must disagree with them, then at the very least still love that person.  Appreciate having one true leader who has good intentions for the masses.  Don't take for granted our ability to share our opinions with others and our daily chance to influence others for the better.  Ultimately, choose love over matter.

How far along:  4 weeks, 5 days
How much time left:  35 weeks, 2 days
Top two symptoms:  Exhaustion

Favorite thing I ate today:  PIZZA HUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mood:  I felt pretty normal today.  A bit anxious with the political stuff going on, but overall I felt in control of my emotions.  There were a few times that I felt out of control when others were frustrated with things I had no control over - but I tried to stay positive and tell them the things they needed to hear.

Worried about: Something completely unrelated to pregnancy.  I'm worried about all of the people in my world who are so caught up in the election results.  I hope that everyone can move forward soon.  I miss my normal Facebook, and I am excited to get rid of the awkward taboo silence when someone brings up politics at work. 

Excited for:  I'm excited for tomorrow being a new day.  I'm excited to hold my baby and teach them about how to be a good person.  I'm excited to be able to leave some kind of legacy and not worry about just being another person living another life... I look forward to being able to make an impact on a life, even if it is a life I created.

Monday, Monday

Today was definitely a Monday.  I struggled with feeling awake today.  I didn't have too much of a stressful day, but the stressful parts were very stressful. 

I get to work every day at 7:15 AM and I work until 6:00 PM (or later), Monday through Thursday.  I usually work a 7 hour day on Fridays.  So, that equals out to be 50+ hours a week.  I do this because I carpool with Arthur every  morning and it doesn't make sense for us to drive separately an hour apart in the morning.  So, I get up and get ready and leave the house with Arthur at 6:45 every morning.  I usually wake up around 4:45 - 5:00 AM every morning. 

So, this means that I work more hours than anyone on my team.  It's my own choice... but sometimes I just get so tired of being there before anyone else and leaving after everyone is gone.  But - I know that the long hours will eventually get recognized.  Maybe. 

After work today, Arthur and I went to his niece's birthday party at Subway.  Arthur's mom works at Subway, and she made my sandwich.  She put extra meat and extra cheese on my sandwich.  It was so delicious!!!!

Overall, today was an ok day.  I'm looking forward to bedtime and a back scratch.  :)

How far along:  4 weeks, 4 days
How much time left:  35 weeks, 3 days
Top two symptoms:  Exhaustion and foggy brain

Favorite thing I ate today:  Subway Sweet Onion Chicken Teriyaki.  Deliciousssssss.

Mood:  My brain felt like it was in a fog today and I kept triple-checking my work.  I hate feeling like I'm missing something. 

Worried about: Thank goodness, I've been keeping a close eye on this infection and I think it's going away.  I have been avoiding sugar and fruit and breads of most types for 2 days.  I know that those foods can exacerbate a yeast infection... so I've had to cut way back.  It sucks not being able to eat chocolate (caffeine), sugar (YI), bread (YI), soda (caffeine, YI) or any other of the delicious things I love to eat that I'm trying to cut out.  I know that this is worth it though.  I'm not complaining in any way - I'm just noting that this thing requires a lot of sacrifices that I wasn't betting on going into it.  Don't get me wrong, I'd take a lifelong yeast infection just to have this chance to be a mom.

Excited for:  Last night I was reading about Postpartum Depression and some of the remedies that are out there for it.  This caused me to think of different things that I would want to do to avoid it.  I kept thinking about holding my baby close and feeling connected with them.  I got to do this with Brielle when she was only a week old.  I went up to visit my sister and she let me lay with Brielle on my chest after she had eaten, and it definitely created a forever bond between us.  I am confident that doing this with my own baby will help me feel more connected.  I'm excited to hold them.  *sigh*

Lazy(ish) Sunday

Today is Sunday, and I was both productive and lazy.  I had a really rough night, and slept in three different places up until 9:00 this morning.  I went to bed again last night after blogging around 3:30 and tried to get comfortable on the couch downstairs with the fireplace on.  I slept until about 7.  I then woke up and went upstairs because I was too warm.  I went to sleep then on my office couch until 9.  I went in to see that Arthur was already awake.  Since it was daylight savings time, I'd hoped I'd gotten at least another hour of sleep somewhere in there. 

Arthur and I had a relaxing morning watching some TV.  When our show was over,  He told me that if I wrapped up my chores then he would make omelets.  I jumped up and got cleaning, since omelets are delicious.  He made me a provolone cheese omelet with turkey meat, cucumbers and spinach.  I know that it doesn't sound amazing, but it's what sounded good to me.

After we ate breakfast, we watched Rock of Ages.  I fell asleep (of course) about halfway through.  After the show, Arthur got out the stuff to decorate the family room Christmas tree.  We realized that we our mantle twinkle Christmas lights were burnt out so we couldn't put them up.  So, we went to Walmart.

I picked up some new sweaters and tanktops at Walmart since I don't have a lot of things that fit me anymore.  I am not sure I care that I've gained weight, I think I just care that I look good in the clothes I have.

We came home and finished up decorating.  Here are some pictures from the family room!  :)

Here is the fireplace.  Notice the spot on the right for a baby stocking?  :)

This is Arthur's Christmas village.  Made out of Legos, of course!  Did you notice the cool edits I did with snow swirls?!  

 This is the family room tree.  We call it the "Red Tree".  It's much more Christmas-y downstairs.  My favorite ornaments are the red glass grape things.  They glow in front of the white lights!

How far along:  4 weeks, 3 days
How much time left:  35 weeks, 4 days
Top two symptoms:  Sensitive breasts and yeast infection.  (Blech!)

Favorite thing I ate today:  I'm seeing a theme... I LOVE anything garlic these days.  I had some delicious garlic bread with cheese on top.  *drool*

Mood:  I felt very productive today.  Anytime that I needed to get up and get something done, I was able to do it.  I didn't have to find that internal drive to start something, I was able to just start.  I hope I get more of those days soon, because it's nice to not think about pushing myself to get things done.  Now, if I could only find the energy to put 3 baskets of laundry away... :P

Worried about: This darn yeast infection.  I'm trying to manage it by not eating any sugar and eating extra yogurt, but I still worry that it will come on stronger.  I might have to go to the pharmacy tomorrow and get a Monistat kit.  UGHHHH!!

Excited for:  Today, when I was getting the downstairs tree up I was thinking about Christmas day at my family's house.  I imagined opening up baby presents like Onesies, bottles, diapers, and other baby things.  It made me a little teary when I thought about how teary I will get when I open these things.  I'm so excited!

Can't Sleep

I've been struggling over the past week or so with this cough that has been in my lower throat.  I thought it was on it's way out, but I just woke up at 2:00 with some pretty nasty throat pain.  I took some Tylenol and drank some juice so I hope that helps.  :(

I'm pretty tired still and I know I need the extra sleep, because that's when my body heals itself.  I don't like not feeling 100% ok while I'm pregnant. 

I also think I've got a glorious yeast infection coming on.  I don't know if I care if that is TMI, but I do know that I can't go my normal route of a prescription-strength pill to knock it out like I normally do.  I will probably have to go with the route of Monistat or some other equally horiffic thing.  Well, it's worth it I guess so my baby doesn't come with some random medication-induced deformity.  :/

I just have to figure out how I'm going to get back to sleep now that I feel so awake... 

This is the first time since I've been pregnant that I don't feel happy.  Ugh!!

Christmas Tree!

Arthur and I got the Christmas tree up last night... isn't it beautiful?!

I can't wait to wrap Arthur's gifts and put them under the tree!  Wooo!

Vitamins!

Because I am a Gastric Bypass patient, I have to take vitamins anyway.  But, now that I'm pregnant, I'm taking a few more vitamins than I usually would.  I take a prenatal, a fish oil, a folic acid (800 mcg), a D (5000 u), a B12 (sublingual) and a Viactiv calcium chew.  I take all of these in the morning with my meal.

 Today is Saturday.  It's been a lazy and a busy day.  Last night, Arthur and I stayed up really late eating dinner since we were out pretty late without eating.  Arthur made the most delicious Chicken Fried Steak and mashed potatoes.  It was amazing!!

I spent the morning catching up on all of my shows, particularly Long Island Medium and Dexter.  I hadn't had a chance all week to sit and watch TV, so today was that day.  I relaxed a bit and watched some YouTube as well.  In the later afternoon, I finally got around to starting my chores.

Arthur and I separate out our chores by kitchen/bathroom.  If you are on the kitchen that week, you have to clean the whole kitchen, the tile floors in the dining room, the dining table, vacuum the stairs, clean the floors/tables of the living room and family room.

If you are on the bathrooms, you do all of the laundry, clean all 3 bathrooms, and clean the bedroom.  You might think that the bathrooms are an easier job, but there is usually a lot of laundry and no one likes to clean a bathroom.  (I actually prefer it).

Once the chores are done, Arthur and I are going to put up the Christmas tree!  I'm excited about that.  :)  That's probably why I worked to get all of my chores done early today!

How far along:  4 weeks, 2 days
How much time left:  35 weeks, 5 days
Top two symptoms:  Full/sensitive breasts and minor cramping (not bad)

Favorite thing I ate today:  A delicious bowl of fruit.  Check it out!

Mood:  Today I felt contented and excited for the things that are coming up.  I haven't had a sad moment yet, really.  I've been really happy this whole week.  Anytime I cry, it's because I'm watching something emotional on TV.  It's nice to feel so happy all of the time... and I think a lot of it is because I'm pregnant now.  Not just hormones, but happy that it finally happened.

Worried about:  My stress today was related to the slight cramping in my abdomen.  I don't think it's related to a period starting... but I just can't put my finger on it.  I am sure it's just my uterus slowly stretching and getting ready to grow a baby.  It's probably nothing, so I'll try not to stress it too much.  :)

Excited for:  I remember a few years back my cousin posted a status on Facebook, and she was upset because her husband got to go out with his friends and she was stuck at home being a mom without a break.  I commented on the post that every day on my drive to work I saw packs of moms out walking together with their babies in strollers.  I told her that it made me cry nearly every morning because all I wanted was to be one of those people who had a baby in a stroller who didn't have to rush off to a meeting to talk about completely unimportant things (in perspective).  I said I would give anything to have this chance, but knew that it's not my time.  I thought about this today as I was cleaning (not sure why) and I realized that I will get to be one of those people now.  I will get to have a stroller and go out for morning walks with my baby.  I can't wait for this!  :)

The End of the Beginning

I titled this entry "The End of the Beginning" because this is the end of the first week of knowing that I'm pregnant.  The fact that I got through the first week is amazing to me.

Today was a very long Friday.  I woke up early and had to be to work early.  That is tough on a Friday.  I had back-to-back meetings all day and I was just really looking forward to coming home and decorating the family Christmas tree with Arthur.

After work, I drove home and met up with Arthur.  He had to deliver a birthday cake that he made for his niece, so we had to go back out.  We delivered it and then went to Babies R Us.

It was really fun looking at the cribs and the clothes and different accessories.  We didn't buy anything, we were just browsing.  We both commented that we can't wait to find out the sex of the baby so we can start to buy stuff.  There is some unisex stuff, but most of it is either blue, green, pink or purple.  I need to have brown stuff, but haven't decided on a decor theme yet.

Pregnancy-wise today, I felt good.  Not too tired.  I find that if I lay down at any point during the day, I almost instantly fall asleep.  I have to try to remember to stay up and awake until it's actually bedtime.  :)

Tomorrow is going to be fun, Arthur and I are going to finish putting up and decorating the tree.  I love the cool breeze and the sunshine through the windows while we listen to Christmas music and hang ornaments.  It's one of my favorite moments of every year.  I usually do a lot of watching, but that's OK. 

How far along:  4 weeks, 1 day
How much time left:  35 weeks, 6 days
Top two symptoms:  Full/sensitive breasts and tired

Favorite thing I ate today:  Pizza Hut Bread Sticks.  OMG!!!!!

Mood:  Today I felt like I was not on the ball like I normally am.  I felt foggy and a bit disconnected.  I think it's because it was a Friday and I just didn't feel like working.  Overall, I was in a mediocre mood.  Not too happy and not too upset.  I'm finding more and more that it is easy pick out where the stress comes from in my life.  I need to avoid those areas and focus on the things that make me the most happy.  :)

Worried about: I stressed less about my period coming today than I normally do.  I think I worried about how I'm going to figure out telling my family on Thanksgiving.  We are going to be at our house this year so telling both families would make it pretty chaotic.  I wanted to keep it intimate, because I didn't know everyone was coming here.  We'll work it out, it will just have to take some bending from someone, somewhere.

Excited for:  Shopping online for baby stuff that I know I want, and not just stuff that is on display at Babies R Us.  I know that when I see the theme I want, I will grab it up.  I think I just need to know if I'm having a girl or a boy.  Sigh...

Surprise!

I was so sleepy tonight after dinner. When I was coming up the stairs to go to sleep, I noticed that Arthur had vacuumed the hallway which is weird on a weeknight. I moved closer to my office where I realized that he'd vacuumed in there as well. When I turned on the light, I saw that he had cleaned it for me! There were also flowers on my vanity! He also got a present for our baby, a set of three books by Eric Carle.

When I saw these things, I started to cry. I ran out to him and said thank you!! He said that his favorite book when he was little was the Hermit Crab story by Eric Carle. So cute!

Tonight is the first night that I felt the excitement that I think I should be feeling right now. I couldn't imagine having to do this alone!

Lullaby

I usually blog in the morning when I'm first waking up, but today's routine was off because Arthur didn't have to work.  So, I was running a bit late so I didn't get a chance to sit down and record my thoughts.

Today was very, very busy.  I had a back-to-back day and I was (thankfully) able to get everything done.  I have been struggling with something pretty annoying, though and I needed to blog about it.

I am so worried that I will miscarry.  I know it's probably a slim chance, and that I'm probably over-worrying myself... but I think I spent too much time on message boards before I got pregnant reading over people posting stuff about it.  Things like, "I'm just now TTC after MC, and..." there were so many posts like that.  Every time I go to the bathroom, I worry that my period will come and that it will all be over.  I hate that I am dealing with this, and I wish it wasn't a concern in my brain.

I didn't really have any symptoms today, which was nice.  I appreciated that I was able to get through the day without being too hungry.  I think it's because I ate a big breakfast.

I think I am going to add favorite thing I ate today to the daily list.  

How far along:  4 weeks TODAY!!
How much time left:  36 weeks
Top two symptoms:  Tired and tired

Favorite thing I ate today:  Sweet Onion Chicken Teriyaki sandwich from Subway.  YUM!

Mood:  I was very serious today.  I think it's because my boss was distracted by something in staff meeting and the mood was very "off".  I emailed her and asked her what was wrong and she brushed me off and told me it was nothing.  Oh, well - you can't please them all.  Other than that, I felt accomplished because I got everything done.  I like feeling that way.  :)

Worried about:  Same as yesterday... that my period will come.  Ugh.

Excited for:  Holding my baby in my arms and singing to them.  I have always loved the song "Sov Gott" (Sleep Well) by Jewel.  I've posted the song below with the Swedish lyrics.  It's a Swedish lullaby song about a wolf and a dolphin who fall in love.  The message I get from the song is that two completely different beings can come together and still share something as simple as love.

   

Swedish Lyrics: Sov gott, vackra delfin Sov gott, jag vita varg Vi har kärlek för varandra För varandra För alltid Sov gott, vackra delfin Sov gott, jag vita varg Vi har kärlek för varandra För varandra För alltid Sov gott Sov gott, jag vita varg Morgonen vaknar Då kysser vi Kysser vi, Kysser vi, Sov gott Sov gott, för alltid Sov gott, vackra delfin Sov gott, jag vita varg Vi har kärlek för varandra För varandra, för alltid Sov gott Sov gott, jag vita varg Morgonen vaknar Då kysser vi, Då kysser vi, för alltid Då kysser vi, för alltid Sov gott Sov gott Sov gott

English lyrics: Sleep well, beautiful dolphin Sleep well, white wolf We have love for each other For each other Forever Sleep well, beautiful dolphin Sleep well, white wolf We have love for each other For each other Forever Sleep well, Sleep well, white wolf Morning wakes Then we kiss We kiss, we kiss Sleep well Sleep well, forever Sleep well, beautiful dolphin Sleep well, white wolf We have love for each other For each other, forever Sleep well Sleep well, white wolf Morning wakes Then we kiss Then we kiss, forever Then we kiss, forever Sleep well Sleep well Sleep well