Showing posts with label peace. Show all posts
Showing posts with label peace. Show all posts

Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Election

Tonight was the election.  Arthur and I were both able to Vote.  I am so grateful to live in a country where each individual person can feel like they have a personal ability to contribute to the decisions made at many levels up.


I thought about how this election would potentially impact my baby and my health going forward.  I know that I didn't feel passionate about one candidate or another throughout the race.  I knew that I observed people who I love and respect get extremely upset as the results started to come in.

I need to focus on the positive things in life, and this election was another opportunity for me to know that I am in control of my world, and even if things impact it on the outside of my scope, I have to find peace knowing that I am doing whatever I can to be positive.  If I focus on all of the negative things related to who our leader is, and what his message is, then I know that I will always, always be unhappy for the next 4 years.

I know how important healthcare is to many people.  It is also important to me, because I am going to need it as my baby is born and beyond.  I love that I have a job that provides me with healthcare, and I appreciate knowing that I will still be able to get what I need even if I lose my job.  I understand that not everyone feels the way I do, and some people argue that it is a free ride.  But even if I had a free ride, I am not sure I'd take it.  I don't work just to have healthcare.  I work because I want a happy life and I want to enjoy the American dream.  Healthcare provided by my employer is a fringe benefit, and another reason why I choose to stay with my employer.

Ultimately, I respect my leader and I know that people who can't may be the ones who are going to struggle with positivity and feeling like there is a higher power.  If there is a higher power, then I know that everything happens for a reason and I can't be bothered with feeling disappointment or anger about something I had zero control over.  I think this is a great lesson for everyone involved.

A message to my baby:  Keep a light heart and a positive perspective.  Decide what you want to believe in, based on what you have learned.  Focus on the things you have control over, and leave the things that try to control you.  Love your neighbor and understand that there is probably a bigger plan if something is confusing you.  Appreciate that everyone has the ability to have an opinion and if you must disagree with them, then at the very least still love that person.  Appreciate having one true leader who has good intentions for the masses.  Don't take for granted our ability to share our opinions with others and our daily chance to influence others for the better.  Ultimately, choose love over matter.

How far along:  4 weeks, 5 days
How much time left:  35 weeks, 2 days
Top two symptoms:  Exhaustion

Favorite thing I ate today:  PIZZA HUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mood:  I felt pretty normal today.  A bit anxious with the political stuff going on, but overall I felt in control of my emotions.  There were a few times that I felt out of control when others were frustrated with things I had no control over - but I tried to stay positive and tell them the things they needed to hear.

Worried about: Something completely unrelated to pregnancy.  I'm worried about all of the people in my world who are so caught up in the election results.  I hope that everyone can move forward soon.  I miss my normal Facebook, and I am excited to get rid of the awkward taboo silence when someone brings up politics at work. 

Excited for:  I'm excited for tomorrow being a new day.  I'm excited to hold my baby and teach them about how to be a good person.  I'm excited to be able to leave some kind of legacy and not worry about just being another person living another life... I look forward to being able to make an impact on a life, even if it is a life I created.

Monday, November 5, 2012

Monday, Monday

Today was definitely a Monday.  I struggled with feeling awake today.  I didn't have too much of a stressful day, but the stressful parts were very stressful. 

I get to work every day at 7:15 AM and I work until 6:00 PM (or later), Monday through Thursday.  I usually work a 7 hour day on Fridays.  So, that equals out to be 50+ hours a week.  I do this because I carpool with Arthur every  morning and it doesn't make sense for us to drive separately an hour apart in the morning.  So, I get up and get ready and leave the house with Arthur at 6:45 every morning.  I usually wake up around 4:45 - 5:00 AM every morning. 

So, this means that I work more hours than anyone on my team.  It's my own choice... but sometimes I just get so tired of being there before anyone else and leaving after everyone is gone.  But - I know that the long hours will eventually get recognized.  Maybe. 

After work today, Arthur and I went to his niece's birthday party at Subway.  Arthur's mom works at Subway, and she made my sandwich.  She put extra meat and extra cheese on my sandwich.  It was so delicious!!!!

Overall, today was an ok day.  I'm looking forward to bedtime and a back scratch.  :)

How far along:  4 weeks, 4 days
How much time left:  35 weeks, 3 days
Top two symptoms:  Exhaustion and foggy brain

Favorite thing I ate today:  Subway Sweet Onion Chicken Teriyaki.  Deliciousssssss.

Mood:  My brain felt like it was in a fog today and I kept triple-checking my work.  I hate feeling like I'm missing something. 

Worried about: Thank goodness, I've been keeping a close eye on this infection and I think it's going away.  I have been avoiding sugar and fruit and breads of most types for 2 days.  I know that those foods can exacerbate a yeast infection... so I've had to cut way back.  It sucks not being able to eat chocolate (caffeine), sugar (YI), bread (YI), soda (caffeine, YI) or any other of the delicious things I love to eat that I'm trying to cut out.  I know that this is worth it though.  I'm not complaining in any way - I'm just noting that this thing requires a lot of sacrifices that I wasn't betting on going into it.  Don't get me wrong, I'd take a lifelong yeast infection just to have this chance to be a mom.

Excited for:  Last night I was reading about Postpartum Depression and some of the remedies that are out there for it.  This caused me to think of different things that I would want to do to avoid it.  I kept thinking about holding my baby close and feeling connected with them.  I got to do this with Brielle when she was only a week old.  I went up to visit my sister and she let me lay with Brielle on my chest after she had eaten, and it definitely created a forever bond between us.  I am confident that doing this with my own baby will help me feel more connected.  I'm excited to hold them.  *sigh*