37 Weeks - Almost there!

I have been terrible at keeping up with my blogging.  I know I promised every day, but it's been really tough to make time to sit down and record my thoughts.

I wanted to blog tonight because today (or, the 20th of June) is the day that I am officially 37 weeks.  This is an important milestone because if I'd gone into labor before this day, I would have been considered premature and Baby Finn would most likely have needed some additional care in the hospital.  I am so grateful I made it to this day.

Overall, I'm feeling good.  I am really trying to stay positive and focus on the fact that I'm almost 100% ready for him to arrive and that I have done a lot of good preparing for labor and delivery.

Here is a picture of me earlier in the week, I think I'm finally starting to look pregnant!  :)

I finally packed my bag (thanks for the prompting, Brookie...)  :)  and I even packed up my desk at work in case I go into labor and I'm not at work so someone else doesn't have to do it for me.  My bag is full of all of the things I will personally need at the hospital and for labor.  I've packed my birthing gown, bathroom supplies, a robe, and a few other things that are essential.

I also helped Arthur pack his "Daddy Doula" bag, which includes my essential oils, the head massager (the one that makes your whole body tingle), my rice heat pack that Arthur's mom made for me, and my scarves for labor support.  There are a few other things I'm not mentioning, but overall, we're mostly ready.

We've put away all of our stuff from the baby shower, which was a total success.  I'll try to blog about that tomorrow since it was so much fun.  There are a few last-minute things we need to get for his arrival, such as a wipes warmer. 

Work is wrapping up well, I have 3 days left in my current position, and then I start my new job next Wednesday.  I think I'll make it, I have good days and I have bad days with how I feel pregnancy-wise. 

How far along:  37 Weeks TODAY!
How much time left:  3 Weeks! (Or less... :) )

Top two symptoms:  My only symptom at this point is a backache that is pretty much going on all of the time.  It's pretty annoying, and I'm trying hard to ignore it and take Tylenol.  I'm looking forward to when this pain goes away, because it's pretty bad. 

Favorite thing I ate today:  Is it bad to say cupcakes?  I had some of those Hostess-like chocolate cupcakes from the machine at work.  The frosting is so good...

Mood:  I stayed really busy at work today so I was in a pretty good mood.  My back prevents me from being super happy at home, since I'm generally relaxing when I finally get there.  I hope to go to bed soon, it's 2:00 in the morning.  :(

Worried about:  As I get things done on my to-do list, I'm feeling much more prepared.  My worry is mostly that I'll go into labor and I won't know that it's happening.  I'm sure I'm being crazy, but it's a legitimate worry.  I also worry that my water will break and I will have to hope my labor begins within that golden window of opportunity.  I don't want to labor in the hospital, I want to do it at home.  I have my Midwife appointment tomorrow morning, so I will be asking her about my Group B Strep results.  I'm hoping and crossing my fingers that it will have come back negative so I don't have to have an IV in the hospital and so I can wait to come in after my water breaks.  I think my main concern is my water breaking at this point.  :)

Excited for:  I really am excited for it all to get started.  I'm not anxious, I'm mostly just looking forward to knowing that labor has begun and I don't have to stress about me just assuming it might be coming soon and I'm just psyching myself out.  I can't wait to jump into my Hypnobirth techniques and feel like I'm progressing in my labor. 

30 days left!

Arthur and I have a  little countdown clock that tells us how many days are remaining in our countdown to our "guess date" of July 11.  Today, it says 30 days left!

 

Mostly I'm feeling really good, and trying to stay as positive as I can.  There are some moments where I feel overwhelmed, or sad, or tired... but for the most part, I try to remember how badly I wanted this and how ready I am to be a mom. 

I'm really excited for my baby shower this coming Friday, it's the last one before Baby Finn arrives.  Arthur and I are hosting it at our house, mainly because we want people to see our nursery since we've worked so hard to get it ready. 

Arthur was working on a baby shower game yesterday called The Price is Right.  He wants people to guess the prices for some of the items on our baby registry.  I thought it was cute that he was getting a game ready to go for the shower.  :)

I requested sugar cookies for one of the treat options at the shower because Arthur's mom makes the most delicious sugar cookies and frosting.  I can't wait to eat one!  Yum!

Arthur and I have continued to make sure we're practicing our Hypnobirthing techniques every night before bed.  Sometimes it's really difficult to get myself into a state of relaxation, but Arthur is really good at reminding me what to focus on and what to relax with.  I am really going to rely on him to keep me focused when I feel like I'm not able to stay relaxed.  I am so lucky to have someone who is as dedicated to the type of birth I want to have for my first baby. 

My next Midwife appointment is on Friday, I will be having them weekly now.  I will be tested for GBS (Group B Strep), and that will determine whether or not I need an IV antibiotic before I push my baby out.  I have been drinking a ton of water, and eating yogurt every day.  I'm not sure if that will help, but I know that I've been feeling good, with no problems so far... so I hope that I get a negative result. 

How far along:  35 Weeks, 5 Days
How much time left:  4 Weeks, 2 Days

Top two symptoms:  When I'm at work, it's a backache from sitting in my work chair.  When I'm at home, it's usually exhaustion or backache.  Today I've been pretty tired, but that might just be because I haven't had my nap today.  :)

Favorite thing I ate today:  An ice cream bar from Skinny Cow.  It's chocolate with salted caramel and pretzel chunks with vanilla ice cream.  So good!

Mood:  I felt a bit down last night, and tonight I'm feeling much more balanced.  Every day is different.  As I get past the last few milestones at work before I move to my new role/prepare for maternity leave, it takes stress away. 

Worried about:  I'm starting to worry about whether or not I will be ready when he gets here.  There are still a few things I want to do before he arrives, such as making some playlists for my Hypnobirthing, and packing my bag for the hospital.  I know I can't do a lot of packing this far in advance, because I need most of the stuff I'll be packing... I just need to be patient and attack the things that are most important right now. 

Excited for:  Friday's baby shower.  I'm excited for everyone to see Finn's nursery and I'm looking forward to seeing all of Arthur's family.  We made some cute invitations and paper mailed them to a few people who didn't respond on Facebook.  I really hope everyone who we invited can come.  :)  If you weren't invited, and you'd like to come, let me know by sending me a Facebook message and I'll add you to the baby shower group.  :)

The Days After Christmas

Today is Thursday!  I think I'm averaging about a blog a week now.  I really struggle to get the energy even just to sit here and get out my thoughts about how I'm feeling and what I'm up to.

Christmas was wonderful, and busy.  It all started Christmas Eve.  We went to Arthur's mom's house to get a gift for a secret santa.  Arthur's mom had gathered some presents for someone she works with so they could have a somewhat decent Christmas.  I helped with delivering it.  They didn't open the door, but it felt good to be able to help out make someone's Christmas brighter.  :)

After that, Arthur and I went to his Grandma's house.  We had a few snacks and exchanged gifts with his grandparents.  We were there for about an hour.  After that, we went up to my parent's house for the Christmas Eve party.  Everyone was there but Whit, Leo and Jackson.  Jackson and Leo have been sick so they didn't make it up.  :(  I know how it feels to be sick, though.  Ugh!

We hung out for a little while and had dessert with my family.  We packed up and headed back to Arthur's mom's house about 9:00.  We got there and got our pajamas and slippers.  Arthur's mom always gets everyone a new pair of pajamas to wear.  It's a fun tradition, and I think I'd like to continue it with my own kids someday.

I was really tired and didn't feel very well, so I went to bed pretty early while Arthur wrapped a few more things for his mom.  In the night, I was coughing so much I couldn't really sleep.  I woke up probably 10+ times coughing.  I finally gave up around 4 and just lay there hoping that time would fly by until it was time to wake up and do Christmas.  I took some cough drops and got up a few times to blow my nose.  That helped pass the time.  :)

Around 8:00, the kids (Arthur's nieces and nephew) all got up and woke everyone up.  We went out and opened presents.  I was pretty much a zombie, but I still had fun opening presents.

I took a nap after presents and was able to wake up a little to go to my family's house.  We left around 12:30 and go to my mom's around 1:00 PM.  We were the first ones there.  Adrienne and then Leo arrived.  Mike was already there.  We did gifts by family and it was fun to see everyone open up their presents.

We hung out for a little while, and left around 4:30 to get to his mom's house for Christmas dinner.  She made turkey, mashed potatoes, stuffing, and all of that delicious stuff.

We exchanged gifts with Aunt Joan and it was fun to see her reaction at getting a cell phone.  :)

After that, Arthur and I came home and did our gift exchange.  It was an exhausting but fun day.

I got a lot of really great stuff, and even some baby stuff.  I try and post a picture of all of it together since there is more than I can handle with individual pictures.  :)

I did get a really great gliding rocking chair that I can use someday in my nursery.  That will be great!

The past two days, I've been working on recovering completely from my cold and also remembering what it feels like to be pregnant.  My nausea has returned full swing.  My exhaustion is also back with an amazing backache.  I have 2 muscles in my back that feel like they're attached to a giant fish hook and someone is always pulling on them as I move.  The only thing that feels good is to sit on a heating pad or to lie down flat on my back.  I don't really have a lot of energy to do anything.  Eating is about all I can do, and so any energy I have, I spend it finding or making food.

Today I worked from home.  My nausea was over the top.  I threw up twice, which for me is not normal.  I hoped that my nausea would magically disappear beginning week 12, but it hasn't yet.  :(  My cold is slowly clearing up.  I'm still coughing a bit and my congestion comes and goes.  I need to be better by the weekend so I can be somewhat productive with chores and stuff.

How far along:  12 Weeks TODAY!!
How much time left:  28 Weeks 

Top two symptoms:  Nausea bad enough for barfing and backache bad enough for sitting around all day.  Again. 

Favorite thing I ate today:  I made cream of mushroom soup and rice.  It's a comfort food from my childhood.  It's the only thing that sounded halfway decent that wasn't really hard to make. 

Mood:  My mood is depressed.  I feel very much like a waste of space.  I think that others may believe that I have a choice about how positively I'm thinking, and how much I do in a day, but unfortunately, my body makes almost every choice for me these days.  For example, this morning I tried eating peaches and mandarin oranges.  I did fine with the mandarin oranges, but when I started eating the peaches, I threw them right back up.  It was awful.  I got it in my hair and the throwing up caused another muscle in my back to pop out.  I just want to feel like a normal person again.  

Worried about:  My wonderful husband getting tired of doing EVERYTHING for me.  He did pretty much everything for me before I was pregnant, but that was because he is just a generous, hardworking guy.  Now, I feel like I can't even choose to get up and do what I want.  I want to bake a cake.  I can't even stand the thought of paying attention to something for that long.  So I can't bake a cake.  My husband is so patient.  I hope he doesn't get annoyed and decide I'm not worth it anymore.  :(

Excited for:  My next doctor's appointment, which is a week from  next Friday.  Ultrasound.  Ultrasound.  Ultrasound.  Light at the end of this dark and dreary tunnel.

Now, don't assume that I hate everything about pregnancy and I'm angry with the world for putting me in this situation.  I am still extremely happy that I am pregnant and I still wouldn't change my situation for anything else in the world.  I know there are those out there that would die to be pregnant.  I remember that all day long.  I struggle to feel positive, though... and even if my mind says 'I'm going to be happy!', my body responds with barfing, or a sharp stab to my back, or a headache that feels like I've been smacked with a mallet.  I knew it would be hard.  I know it will be worth it.  I'm just hoping to get out of this swamp soon so I can start to see the positive somewhere in all of this. 

Tuesday and More Aches

Today is Tuesday, and I can definitely tell my body is changing.  My legs and my lower back/hips are hurting pretty much all of the time now.  The ache is dulled this morning, so that is good.  Last night I took my first bath as a pregnant lady.  It was really nice.  However, I did psyche myself out before my bath by googling what bad things can happen.  I couldn't find a solid answer, so I figured it was not a big deal.

I am still pregnant this morning.  Every time I go to the bathroom, I'm afraid that this will be over and that I have to start over.  It feels too good to be true. 

Today is a fairly slow day, it's busy in the afternoon which no one likes.  I am going to try to stay as positive as possible today and go on a few walks so my body doesn't hurt so bad.

I am glad that this feels like a miracle and that I am having a good experience so far.  What am I excited for today?  I'm excited to tell my friends and family and see how happy they are when we tell them.  I've got a creative way to do it, but something tells me that Pinterest will do an even better job at telling me what I can do to communicate.

Well, it's time to wake Arthur up and it's time to get ready for my day!

More Symptoms on Day 2!

Today is the day after I found out that I'm expecting.  Today, I am in a good mood, which is nice.  I am a little tired, but mostly I am crampy and my back hurts.  I was really hungry earlier in the day but now I'm less hungry.

I talked to two of my close friends today about my pregnancy.  The only reason I felt comfortable telling them is because I have been discussing the whole trying to conceive thing with them for like a year.  I need to be able to talk to someone aside from Arthur so I feel less insane when something comes up that I need to talk about.  So far the response has been very positive and excited for me.  I feel somewhat sad because they are both still trying, but I wish I could communicate to them that their time will come.  What doesn't change about their situations is that both of them are ready and willing to love a baby, whether it comes from inside of them or not.  That is what is constant and unchanging.  I tried to reaffirm that to them multiple times while we were discussing earlier in the year and hopefully they still understand that.

In other news, we're going to my family's house today to celebrate Halloween.  I'm excited to see the costumes of the kids.  I want to take a million pictures.

I am still not ready to tell anyone outside of the select few because I'm not ready to deal with telling everyone if the pregnancy doesn't work out.

Lastly, I took one more test this morning just to triple-check (literally) that I really am pregnant.  And, it came out positive.  So, 3 out of 3 must be good, right?  :)

Tomorrow will be my first day back to work knowing that I'm definitely pregnant.  We'll see how I do...  More again tomorrow.