I am NORMAL!

Today was a better day.  I haven't woken up feeling normal in more than 8 days.  I woke up this morning and ate breakfast and had energy for once.  I wanted to get up and do something fun.

I noticed on Facebook that Arthur's cousin had posted about an opening she had at her salon today for a haircut.  I needed a haircut so bad, and needed something to make myself feel better about things.  I checked with her and it was still available! 

I woke Arthur up and we got ready to go.  I had an appointment at 12:30.  She was able to dye my hair and give me some cute bangs.  I didn't get a chance to take a picture of it yet, but I will tomorrow when I have some time to make myself look more presentable. 

After that, we ran a few more errands and came home for dinner.  I made some pizza and some corn and now I'm just going to relax the rest of the night. 

I felt a bubble-like flutter today in my abdomen.  I'm not sure if it was gas, or the first movements of my baby.  I looked it up and 12 weeks is not too early to feel a "flutter".  I hope that's what it was!! 

It was nice to feel somewhat normal today.  :)

How far along:  12 Weeks, 2 Days
How much time left:  27 Weeks, 5 days

Top two symptoms:  I kept my  nausea under control today by eating when I could.  I think my worst symptom of all was a headache after I had my hair appointment. 

Favorite thing I ate today:  This delicious Totino's pizza!  I know, sounds crazy - but it is so good!!

Mood:  I woke up in such a great mood, mostly because I wasn't coughing, or hurting all over.  The thought of having a haircut really cheered me up, since I've been so down on myself this week.  It really helped.  :)

Worried about:  Going back to work this week.  Even though it will be an easy week, I'm not sure I'm ready for the general public again. 

Excited for:  More movement feelings!  I know it can be few and far between, but I will still stay optimistic that I will feel more movement down there.  :)

Last Friday of the Year!

Happy Friday! 

Today was a chill day.  I worked from home all day, getting things wrapped up for the end of the year.  I'm working from home on Monday as well, and then I have Tuesday off for New Year's Day.  I am really grateful for the opportunity I have to work from home.  It's nice to be able to wake up and go to work still in my pajamas.

Early this morning, Arthur's fish came in the mail.  He purchased them on Wednesday and they overnighted them yesterday to arrive today.  He was really excited to put them in his tank.  That was most of his big present from me, fish.  He got a gift card to SaltwaterFish.com and some money to buy fish at the fish store.  He seemed to really like that.  :)

Arthur's family is coming over tonight to play some games.  We spent a few hours this afternoon cleaning up the house since it was still messy from Christmas.  I was really struggling with nausea and a headache, but I was able to get at least one load of dishes in and I was able to clean the bathroom.  After that, I took a shower and had a nap.  Even the smallest tasks take everything out of me. 

I'm excited that the house is clean for the weekend, though.  That means that Arthur and I can spend some time together.  We've been really separated this past week since I've been so sick and needed to sleep a lot.  I don't think we've done something fun outside of the house since a few weeks before Christmas.  I haven't even felt like leaving the house since before Christmas either.  I'm really looking forward to feeling more normal.

How far along:  12 Weeks, 1 Day
How much time left:  27 Weeks, 6 days

Top two symptoms:  Nausea and Exhaustion.  A headache too.  My nausea didn't get bad until this evening.  It seems to get bad now whenever I exert any physical energy.  Going up and down the stairs, bending over, showering... all of that stuff makes my nausea go crazy.  Loading the dishwasher this afternoon prompted my only throw up for the day.  At least my stomach was empty.  :)

Favorite thing I ate today:  I didn't find much pleasure in food today.  I think the best thing I ate was hashbrowns that Arthur made for breakfast.  They were really good.

Mood:  Today, I felt pretty normal until I had to start getting up and getting moving.  The dishwasher made me feel like I was dying.  Mostly because of the back and forth, up and down motions, combined with the smells.  My mood went downhill at that point.

Worried about:  The thought of making myself presentable to go outside and interact with the general public.  Being around anyone but Arthur and my immediate family makes me feel really scared.  I'm not very pleasant, and I'm mostly grumpy.  I don't want to be short with someone who is trying to be nice to me.  I worry about that now that my emotions seem to be out of control.

Excited for:  Starting to feel normal, eventually. 

The Days After Christmas

Today is Thursday!  I think I'm averaging about a blog a week now.  I really struggle to get the energy even just to sit here and get out my thoughts about how I'm feeling and what I'm up to.

Christmas was wonderful, and busy.  It all started Christmas Eve.  We went to Arthur's mom's house to get a gift for a secret santa.  Arthur's mom had gathered some presents for someone she works with so they could have a somewhat decent Christmas.  I helped with delivering it.  They didn't open the door, but it felt good to be able to help out make someone's Christmas brighter.  :)

After that, Arthur and I went to his Grandma's house.  We had a few snacks and exchanged gifts with his grandparents.  We were there for about an hour.  After that, we went up to my parent's house for the Christmas Eve party.  Everyone was there but Whit, Leo and Jackson.  Jackson and Leo have been sick so they didn't make it up.  :(  I know how it feels to be sick, though.  Ugh!

We hung out for a little while and had dessert with my family.  We packed up and headed back to Arthur's mom's house about 9:00.  We got there and got our pajamas and slippers.  Arthur's mom always gets everyone a new pair of pajamas to wear.  It's a fun tradition, and I think I'd like to continue it with my own kids someday.

I was really tired and didn't feel very well, so I went to bed pretty early while Arthur wrapped a few more things for his mom.  In the night, I was coughing so much I couldn't really sleep.  I woke up probably 10+ times coughing.  I finally gave up around 4 and just lay there hoping that time would fly by until it was time to wake up and do Christmas.  I took some cough drops and got up a few times to blow my nose.  That helped pass the time.  :)

Around 8:00, the kids (Arthur's nieces and nephew) all got up and woke everyone up.  We went out and opened presents.  I was pretty much a zombie, but I still had fun opening presents.

I took a nap after presents and was able to wake up a little to go to my family's house.  We left around 12:30 and go to my mom's around 1:00 PM.  We were the first ones there.  Adrienne and then Leo arrived.  Mike was already there.  We did gifts by family and it was fun to see everyone open up their presents.

We hung out for a little while, and left around 4:30 to get to his mom's house for Christmas dinner.  She made turkey, mashed potatoes, stuffing, and all of that delicious stuff.

We exchanged gifts with Aunt Joan and it was fun to see her reaction at getting a cell phone.  :)

After that, Arthur and I came home and did our gift exchange.  It was an exhausting but fun day.

I got a lot of really great stuff, and even some baby stuff.  I try and post a picture of all of it together since there is more than I can handle with individual pictures.  :)

I did get a really great gliding rocking chair that I can use someday in my nursery.  That will be great!

The past two days, I've been working on recovering completely from my cold and also remembering what it feels like to be pregnant.  My nausea has returned full swing.  My exhaustion is also back with an amazing backache.  I have 2 muscles in my back that feel like they're attached to a giant fish hook and someone is always pulling on them as I move.  The only thing that feels good is to sit on a heating pad or to lie down flat on my back.  I don't really have a lot of energy to do anything.  Eating is about all I can do, and so any energy I have, I spend it finding or making food.

Today I worked from home.  My nausea was over the top.  I threw up twice, which for me is not normal.  I hoped that my nausea would magically disappear beginning week 12, but it hasn't yet.  :(  My cold is slowly clearing up.  I'm still coughing a bit and my congestion comes and goes.  I need to be better by the weekend so I can be somewhat productive with chores and stuff.

How far along:  12 Weeks TODAY!!
How much time left:  28 Weeks 

Top two symptoms:  Nausea bad enough for barfing and backache bad enough for sitting around all day.  Again. 

Favorite thing I ate today:  I made cream of mushroom soup and rice.  It's a comfort food from my childhood.  It's the only thing that sounded halfway decent that wasn't really hard to make. 

Mood:  My mood is depressed.  I feel very much like a waste of space.  I think that others may believe that I have a choice about how positively I'm thinking, and how much I do in a day, but unfortunately, my body makes almost every choice for me these days.  For example, this morning I tried eating peaches and mandarin oranges.  I did fine with the mandarin oranges, but when I started eating the peaches, I threw them right back up.  It was awful.  I got it in my hair and the throwing up caused another muscle in my back to pop out.  I just want to feel like a normal person again.  

Worried about:  My wonderful husband getting tired of doing EVERYTHING for me.  He did pretty much everything for me before I was pregnant, but that was because he is just a generous, hardworking guy.  Now, I feel like I can't even choose to get up and do what I want.  I want to bake a cake.  I can't even stand the thought of paying attention to something for that long.  So I can't bake a cake.  My husband is so patient.  I hope he doesn't get annoyed and decide I'm not worth it anymore.  :(

Excited for:  My next doctor's appointment, which is a week from  next Friday.  Ultrasound.  Ultrasound.  Ultrasound.  Light at the end of this dark and dreary tunnel.

Now, don't assume that I hate everything about pregnancy and I'm angry with the world for putting me in this situation.  I am still extremely happy that I am pregnant and I still wouldn't change my situation for anything else in the world.  I know there are those out there that would die to be pregnant.  I remember that all day long.  I struggle to feel positive, though... and even if my mind says 'I'm going to be happy!', my body responds with barfing, or a sharp stab to my back, or a headache that feels like I've been smacked with a mallet.  I knew it would be hard.  I know it will be worth it.  I'm just hoping to get out of this swamp soon so I can start to see the positive somewhere in all of this. 

Lots of Rest for the Weary

Happy Sunday!

I have had a very low-key day today, and really focused on trying to rest and recover.  I am looking forward to feeling normal again.

During the week at work, when others realized I was getting sick, they would say "It sucks to be sick during the holidays!"  I would keep replying that I didn't care if I was sick for Christmas, as long as I was not at work.  After missing 2 really big Christmas parties with my family and Arthur's family, I'm starting to understand why people say that it sucks.

I really was looking forward to going to my sister's Christmas party last night to see Jackson and Brielle and Adam and Whit and EVERYONE.  I realized as time got closer to when it was time to leave that there was no way I was going to be able to shower and get ready.  So I had to call my sister and tell her I couldn't go.  The good news is that I got to FaceTime with them and waved hello to everyone from my bed.  That made it better.

Today I've done little but nap and eat a little here and there.  My cough is significantly better.  I still just have those violent fits of coughing every once in awhile, and less often than before.  My congestion is much better, and I can breathe through one nostril.  :)  I'm still feeling pretty tired and generally out of it, which tells me I'm still working on getting better.

My parents and Grandma came out today so they could see our Christmas tree.  My Grandma has only been to our house once before, but it was very dark out, and so she couldn't see much of the house with just the inside lights on.  She sat in front of the tree for nearly an hour just admiring it and commenting about how pretty the blue ornaments were.  I stayed upstairs the whole time and just waved at my family from the "loft" of the kitchen.  I told my mom that if she was going to insist on coming over, then I was going to Lysol everything and stay away from them.  I did that.  I didn't touch anybody and Arthur did a good cleaning before they all came over.  It was nice to see my Grandma and my parents after being cooped up in my house for so long.

After they left, Arthur got ready and went to his mom's house to help her with wrapping her gifts for their family.  Arthur loves to wrap, so it's something he looks forward to every year.  He left me here so I could get some more rest.  I wanted to go, but I know that if I go outside in the cold air, it could set me back.  The freezing air just killed me on Friday when I went to work, and it took me like 4 hours to feel normal again after being outside.  So, I stayed home.  I'm marinating some chicken and Mike is going to BBQ it for us.

Tomorrow is Christmas Eve.  I really hope I've got some more energy tomorrow so we can go to the Christmas Eve party at my parent's house.  I look forward to that every year.  The gift exchange is the best part, when we trade white elephant gifts.  It's also the beginning of the Christmas Day marathon.

The Christmas Day marathon begins on Christmas Eve night.  We go to my family's house for dinner and dessert and a Christmas program.  By about 9:30-10:00, we leave and go to Arthur's mom's house.  We get Christmas pajamas and open presents that the siblings give each other.  Then, we sleep there and get up super early on Christmas day for presents with his family.  We stay there until about noon and then go to my family's house.  We open gifts there until about 3 or 4 and then go back to his mom's house for Christmas dinner and gifts from his Aunt Joan.  By the time we get home to exchange gifts with each other, it's usually about 9 or 10 PM.  I'm always so exhausted, but it's always fun to look forward to our gifts to each other.

How far along:  11 weeks, 3 days
How much time left:  28 Weeks, 4 days
Top two symptoms:  Nausea today a bit, since my cold seems to be getting a bit better.  Cold-wise, coughing and congestion.  :(

Favorite thing I ate today:  My little brother Mike made me a grilled cheese sandwich.  He calls it a "Grilled Cheesus".  It's pretty funny.  :)

Mood:  I was pretty mopey/whiney today.  I think it's because I want to get up and do stuff, but my body just wants to drag, so that makes me feel like I can't do all of the things I want to do. 

Worried about:  The Christmas Day marathon.  After thinking it through... I hope I have the energy to do everything.  I will rest most of the day tomorrow and hopefully I'll feel better by tomorrow night. 

Excited for:  Christmas Food.  Maybe some mashed potatoes.  Maybe some turkey.  Not sure what's on the menu, but I'm hungry for it!!!!!  :)

Pregnancy + Sick = Bad News Bears

I normally post every day, but this past week I've been really sick.  :(  I've got the next 4 days off, so I'll definitely try and blog over the holidays.  

I got a lot of great feedback after posting my initial announcement to the limited number of people on FaceBook.  I got a lot of blog views, and a bunch of people who commented on the post.  It made me feel good to know that I have so much support.

So, about being sick... I always have a very dull headache due to hormones.  The headache usually gets worse if I haven't slept much or if I'm getting hungry.  It comes along with nausea and so if I don't eat at the right time, it gets worse.  I hadn't slept well on Sunday night through Tuesday night.  I scheduled myself to work from home on Wednesday because I didn't have any meetings in office.

As I was working comfortably from my office couch on Wednesday morning, I noticed that my headache was getting worse than normal, and I was feeling a bit congested.  I brushed it off as nothing because congestion comes and goes for me.  By Wednesday afternoon, I started feeling dizzy, and my back was throbbing.  I decided to log off a couple of hours early (I let my boss know) and go try and sleep.

I got into bed and I started having chills really bad, and so I plugged in the heating pad.  It was nice to get a nap and warm up.

A few hours later, I woke up with the worst headache of my life and a terrible backache.  I was worried about the backache because that combined with cramping (which I didn't have) can be a sign of the beginning of miscarriage.

Fast forward to Thursday morning.  I woke up very sick and had congestion like crazy.  Because I'd slept on my heating pad, it helped my back a bit.  I had to call in sick because there was no way I could go to work.

I stayed in bed most of the day on Thursday.  Arthur had the day off, which was nice for him.

I had to go back to work on Friday, because I had a mandatory 2 hour meeting that I had to run and my team's Christmas party.  I wanted to go to that, so I really pushed myself to get up and get going.  I got to work by 9:00 AM.  Barely.  My cough was so bad, I had to pull over a few times on the highway to cough a bunch before I could drive again.  Ugh!

At work I was in a daze.  I don't remember much of the meeting at all.  I do remember that my boss gave everyone on the team a gift, and I got a great present from my friend Ashley.  She gave me a funny Awkward Family Photos (siblings edition) puzzle, and my first gender neutral baby outfits!  When I say first, I mean the first from someone that's not me.  :)

One was a onesie pack of 3, with tan, white and yellow.  The white one has a super cute little duck on it, and the yellow one has a brown and yellow print on it.  The one on the left is footie pajamas with a hat.  The hat, it's the cutest part.  Arthur loved them as well.  :)  They're hanging in my office closet with some of the other stuff that Arthur and I bought (even before we were pregnant...)

Anyhoo, work was done by 12:30 PM and so I went with my team for our Christmas party lunch.  We went to the Olive Garden.  I was so sick before I went in.  I sat in my car and just coughed for like 5 minutes straight because I knew that coughing in a public place like that wouldn't fly with strangers.

I ordered my food (Chicken Parmesan) and was a zombie the whole time.  I had a few coughing fits, but made it through alive.  When the check was signed, I was OUT OF THERE.  I couldn't stand to be sitting up anymore.  I was worried about the drive home because of how I was feeling.  But, I made it home.  I don't remember the drive, but I know I ended up in my bed about 45 minutes later.  I slept until it was time for the Christmas party at our house.

We had Arthur's family over for the "Festivus for the Rest of Us".  It's a knockoff from Seinfeld.  We ate sandwiches and treats, and played games, including a gift exchange.  I was in bed most of the night.  I felt so bad because Arthur's family was so nice to me and no one was frustrated that I didn't socialize much.  I also felt bad because Arthur worked from early in the morning on Friday until his family got there at 7 on getting ready for the party.  He cleaned the whole house (every room, including my office) and prepared the meal.  I did nothing but lay in bed.  :(

Last night after everyone left, Mike gave me some TheraFlu.  I drank it so fast.  Within minutes I started feeling drowsy and so I was able to sleep.  I woke up this morning feeling a bit better.  My temperature was down (from 100 the night before) to 97.9.  I was so grateful for that!

Arthur woke up sick, unfortunately... so he is going to go through all this tomorrow through Christmas, probably.  I feel really bad for him, and I understand.  I'm going to do what I can to make it up to him for all of the hard work he put in while I was sick.  :)

Tonight, I'm feeling fair.  My cough has gotten significantly better.  I continue to have a few violent coughing fits, and it hurts pretty bad when I do.  The worst thing right now is my congestion.  The good news in all of this:  It's masked my pregnancy symptoms, so I haven't really dealt with (or cared much about) nausea or anything else.  Amazing!

How far along:  11 weeks, 2 days
How much time left:  28 Weeks, 5 days
Top two symptoms:  Pregnancy related...exhaustion.  Cold related?  Congestion.  I can't WAIT to breathe normally again. 

Favorite thing I ate today:  A Kraft Mac and Cheese bucket.  It was so good. 

Mood:  My mood was normal.  Not as grumpy as I've been over the past 4 days or so. 

Worried about:  Not feeling well enough to get the house clean before Christmas.  I hope I feel like a rockstar tomorrow. 

Excited for:  CHRISTMAS DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Pregnancy Update!

Now that I have my vacation blog entry out of the way, I can now post about how things are going with my pregnancy!

Over the past week at work, it was really, really busy.  Probably the most busy I've been since I went to the Philippines.  We are training a new group of Coaches on Quality, so there is a ton of prep work that I had to do before it started.  Since I had the week before off, I didn't get time to prep like the rest of my team did.

The week was successful, and I was able to get through it without too much stress.  Mostly, I was looking forward to Friday, which was my first official doctor's appointment.

One strange thing was that I hadn't gotten a confirmation phone call from the doctor's office like I normally do.  I called around 11 AM and asked to confirm the time.  They told me they didn't have me on the schedule at 4, but at 3.  So I had to call Arthur and tell him to get ready.  I left work a little early because I was so excited to get there.

I picked up Arthur at home (he had the day off) around 2:30.  We drove to the office and had to wait for almost an hour.  It was so busy!  When we finally went in, the doctor completely calmed my fears by saying "You ready to hear a heartbeat today?!"  All of my fears were washed away.  He told me to get on the table and he had a medical student help him.  I told Arthur to record it with my phone.

At first, the doctor could only get my heartbeat.  Then, he found my baby's heartbeat.  It was so fast, and strong!  Arthur got up and came over by me and we held my phone by the speaker.  I closed my eyes and just listened.  It was really amazing.  I made a little video so you can hear it:

The doctor said that the heartbeat was completely normal at 182 beats per minute.  I was happy to hear that it was beating so strong.  It really does feel real now.  :)

How far along:  10 Weeks, 2 days
How much time left:  29 Weeks, 5 days
Top two symptoms:  I had low energy today.  Over the past two days my appetite has come back.  Everything tastes good!

Favorite thing I ate today:  Mango Peach Salsa from Costco.  Steak.  Hashbrowns.  Oh my goodness, with my taste buds working again, everything tastes good. 

Mood:  My mood today was happy.  I had a really relaxing day.

Worried about:  Getting through this week before Christmas!

Excited for:  My next doctor's appointment!  4 weeks away!  January 11th!

"It's been days!"

While cooking dinner tonight, Arthur asked "Are you going to blog?  It's been days!"

Yes, it's been days.  2 weeks and 1 day since I blogged.  I'm really sorry for the delay.  I was on vacation for the first week and didn't have a computer.  The second week my only excuse was being extremely busy and trying to get feeling normal after a week of theme parks.

The vacation was really fun.  Arthur, his brother and I left Utah on Sunday and drove to Vegas.  We stayed at the Flamingo.  The room was really retro with pink walls and lights.  It was pretty crazy.

We woke up early on Monday morning so we could drive to Anaheim.  It was a 4 hour drive.  As soon as we got there, we went right to Disneyland.  The rain stopped just as we parked, which was really nice.  I've been to Disney before when it's raining, and it's miserable.  We went to California Adventure the first day because Eli loves Ariel, and so we went on her new ride first.  We also had dinner at Ariel's Grotto.  We took pictures with all of the princesses.  I got a picture with my delicious dessert.

The next day we got up extremely early and went to Universal Studios.  I was really struggling, because the drive was really long and I was very sick the whole way there.  I slept on the ride, and when I woke up when we got there, I wasn't sure I was going to be able to spend a whole day in the park.  I sucked it up and got out of the car.  I had to go to the bathroom before we got into the park, so I went to the public restrooms by the elevators.  It was so stinky in there, I started to throw up.  Well, kind of throw up since I can't actually throw up.  It's more of a very painful hiccup over and over again until the feeling passes.  So dumb.

At Universal Studios, we went on the fun rides.  When I say "we", I mean Eli and Arthur went on the fun rides.  I couldn't ride any of the exciting ones like Simpsons, or the Studio Tour or the Mummy or Transformers.  I could only go to the shows and stuff like that.  It was ok, though because I kept reminding myself of how important it was that I keep my baby safe.  I spent a lot of time eating food and people watching.  :)

I didn't get any pictures of myself at Universal Studios, but Arthur got a picture with Bumblebee and Optimus Prime.  He just got mad at me because I wasn't sure who each of them were.  So, I'm posting both pictures of him with them.

That night we went to the No Doubt concert at Universal Studios.  I started feeling better towards the second half of the day, so I was looking forward to sitting and listening to the music.  Before we went in and got our seats, Eli wanted to look at the merchandise they were selling.  The stuff was all really expensive, but we found something we liked.  Arthur and I decided on a onesie with No Doubt on it.  It is gray, and it has blue, green, white and pink on it.  It will look good on a boy or a girl.

The next day we went back to Disneyland to ride the rides there.  There are actually a lot of rides I can go on in Disneyland.  I rode Pirates, Haunted Mansion, It's a Small World and Toy Story.  I had a lot of fun!  My favorite part of the day was meeting the Queen of Hearts and seeing Sleeping Beauty's castle at night with the Christmas lights.

I also found a fancy hat that I loved!  Everyone at Disneyland wears Micky ears hats, and this one was amazing because it was brown.

I didn't buy it, though, because I wasn't going to be in Disneyland much longer, and the only place you can wear Mickey ears without looking crazy is in Disneyland.  :)

The next day we went to Sea World in San Diego.  I told Arthur that the only way I was going to go to Sea World was if I could go to my favorite restaurant in Pacific Beach called the Broken Yolk.  They have the most delicious breakfast burritos!  We went and I got my photo eating my burrito.

At Sea World, Arthur saw a Shamu-themed bug.  He wanted his picture by it.

When we got into the park, we saw the Sea World Christmas tree.  Arthur wanted us to stand by it because it was ocean-themed.

At Sea World, we saw shows, and rode the sky ride.  My favorite part of the day was feeding the flamingos.  They were so sweet, they ate right out of our hands.  We could pet them even!

The next day was going to be a half day at Disneyland and then drive to Las Vegas.  We went on a few of the rides that we'd already gone on, and Arthur and Eli went on the new Cars ride.  They had to wait in line for nearly 2 hours.  I had a nap on a bench.  :)

Disneyland is very magical at Christmas time.  Everything is decorated!

After Disneyland, we drove back to Vegas.  We stopped at this place that had a real mermaid in an aquarium!  It was so crazy!  She had these oxygen hoses that were spread throughout the tank so she could breathe.

We spent the night at the Luxor and then got up the next morning and came home.  It was a really fun trip!