Turn a Negative into a Positive!

Today marked a very important milestone in my journey towards a natural Hypnobirth.  In previous posts, you may remember me mentioning that I was tested for Group B Strep last week.  Group B Strep is a bacteria that can exist on your skin that is normally present and harmless.  If this bacteria is present in your birth, it can be passed onto your baby as he is being born and it can cause infection.  For women who are tested positive for Group B Strep, they are required to get an IV after their water breaks.  The IV contains antibiotics so it can protect the baby from the bacteria.
This is significant to me because I have always seen my labor going in two different directions, based on whether or not I turn out to be Group B Strep positive.  If I am positive, then that means that as soon as my water breaks, I have to go to the hospital and start my antibiotic IV - regardless of whether or not I am in labor.  If I haven't had any contractions, it could mean that I spend a lot of time laboring without the resources I was looking for, which is an untethered experience where I can take a bath or walk around and move freely.  If I am negative, then if my water breaks, I can stay at home for up to 24 hours with the hopes that I am able to progress in my dilatation so I can spend the least amount of time possible in the hospital before I am at a 10.  I worked really hard in imagining the possibilities of the two paths to be positive in either sense... although I worried a lot about how I was going to manage through with an IV knowing how much I wanted to be able to move freely as I labored.  I also didn't want to rush into the hospital.  To be completely honest, I was really stressed about it.  

I was tested for the bacteria on Friday last week by my Midwife, and she told me that my results would be available a week later, or today.  I went into my appointment today with Arthur knowing that I would find out as soon as we went back.  They called my name and Arthur and I went back to get my vitals.  They weighed me, and I had gained 3 lbs in 1 week.  Yikes!  Finn is growing and so am I.  This is ok because I know that I can't beat myself up for something that I have little control over.  She then took my blood pressure, and told me it was on the lower end, which is good.  She then asked me if I wanted to know my Group B Strep results.  I nearly screamed YES!

She fumbled for a second trying to find them and mumbled a bit about how they have had trouble over the past few days getting the results quickly from the lab.  She then said that she had found them.  She says "It looks like you are negative!  Congratulations!"  I started to cry.  I was so happy.  I saw my entire natural birth flash before my eyes and I was overjoyed.  It was as if I had won the lottery.  Arthur laughed at me a bit because of how emotional I got, but I can blame the hormones.  :)

The rest of the day I have been on cloud 9.  All of the stress I was feeling about my water breaking, and about being able to labor in a tub, and having to have an IV was gone.

This experience has reinforced my desire to be successful in my goal for a natural Hypnobirth.  Instead of feeling anxious and nervous about Finn getting ready to be here, I am just now more excited.  It's almost like a surprise, like waiting for something I'm wanting to come in the mail, or that feeling you get when you're meeting a blind date for the first time.  Is that a crazy comparison?  I don't know if I care, I'm just happy that today was such a great day!  :)

37 Weeks - Almost there!

I have been terrible at keeping up with my blogging.  I know I promised every day, but it's been really tough to make time to sit down and record my thoughts.

I wanted to blog tonight because today (or, the 20th of June) is the day that I am officially 37 weeks.  This is an important milestone because if I'd gone into labor before this day, I would have been considered premature and Baby Finn would most likely have needed some additional care in the hospital.  I am so grateful I made it to this day.

Overall, I'm feeling good.  I am really trying to stay positive and focus on the fact that I'm almost 100% ready for him to arrive and that I have done a lot of good preparing for labor and delivery.

Here is a picture of me earlier in the week, I think I'm finally starting to look pregnant!  :)

I finally packed my bag (thanks for the prompting, Brookie...)  :)  and I even packed up my desk at work in case I go into labor and I'm not at work so someone else doesn't have to do it for me.  My bag is full of all of the things I will personally need at the hospital and for labor.  I've packed my birthing gown, bathroom supplies, a robe, and a few other things that are essential.

I also helped Arthur pack his "Daddy Doula" bag, which includes my essential oils, the head massager (the one that makes your whole body tingle), my rice heat pack that Arthur's mom made for me, and my scarves for labor support.  There are a few other things I'm not mentioning, but overall, we're mostly ready.

We've put away all of our stuff from the baby shower, which was a total success.  I'll try to blog about that tomorrow since it was so much fun.  There are a few last-minute things we need to get for his arrival, such as a wipes warmer. 

Work is wrapping up well, I have 3 days left in my current position, and then I start my new job next Wednesday.  I think I'll make it, I have good days and I have bad days with how I feel pregnancy-wise. 

How far along:  37 Weeks TODAY!
How much time left:  3 Weeks! (Or less... :) )

Top two symptoms:  My only symptom at this point is a backache that is pretty much going on all of the time.  It's pretty annoying, and I'm trying hard to ignore it and take Tylenol.  I'm looking forward to when this pain goes away, because it's pretty bad. 

Favorite thing I ate today:  Is it bad to say cupcakes?  I had some of those Hostess-like chocolate cupcakes from the machine at work.  The frosting is so good...

Mood:  I stayed really busy at work today so I was in a pretty good mood.  My back prevents me from being super happy at home, since I'm generally relaxing when I finally get there.  I hope to go to bed soon, it's 2:00 in the morning.  :(

Worried about:  As I get things done on my to-do list, I'm feeling much more prepared.  My worry is mostly that I'll go into labor and I won't know that it's happening.  I'm sure I'm being crazy, but it's a legitimate worry.  I also worry that my water will break and I will have to hope my labor begins within that golden window of opportunity.  I don't want to labor in the hospital, I want to do it at home.  I have my Midwife appointment tomorrow morning, so I will be asking her about my Group B Strep results.  I'm hoping and crossing my fingers that it will have come back negative so I don't have to have an IV in the hospital and so I can wait to come in after my water breaks.  I think my main concern is my water breaking at this point.  :)

Excited for:  I really am excited for it all to get started.  I'm not anxious, I'm mostly just looking forward to knowing that labor has begun and I don't have to stress about me just assuming it might be coming soon and I'm just psyching myself out.  I can't wait to jump into my Hypnobirth techniques and feel like I'm progressing in my labor. 

Happy Father's Day!

Today is Father's Day!  Arthur is still sleeping, because he gets to sleep in on his special day.  :)  I'm looking forward to making him breakfast in bed.  He will get a turkey omelet with cheese and peppers and hashbrowns!  I also have some sweet gifts to give him from me and Baby Finn.  I won't say what they are here in case he reads this before he opens them!

I like the fact that there are two isolated days during the year where we can celebrate being parents.  I think birthdays and anniversaries and Valentine's Day are all great reasons to celebrate special days.  When I woke up this morning, the first thought I had was that it was Arthur's first Father's Day!  I was really excited to get up and celebrate it with him.  As I've been sitting here thinking about what to write, I have had so many amazing things come to mind.  I thought it would be cool to share a little bit more about why I knew Arthur would be a great dad.

When we were dating, Arthur was always the most patient person with his sisters, cousins, nieces and nephew.  He never got frustrated with them or showed any sort of annoyance about how clingy they were with him.  He let them climb all over him like he was a jungle gym.  He just laughed and played right along with them.

During the first Christmas we spent together, Arthur and his family blew me away with how many amazing gifts they gave each other.  At first, I was a little intimidated, thinking "How will I ever keep up with this?!"  The piles and piles of presents for every person was something I'd never seen before.  I even had my own pile, and we hadn't even been dating officially for a month!  I know what you're thinking - That sounds so material and non-Christmas... but what I learned was this is one of the many ways his family shows each other love.  They spend a lot of time thinking about the perfect gifts that will make that person really happy.  Each gift is so thoughtful, it's never just a gift.  I thought as I opened my 12th (or something) gift on that Christmas that if Arthur is a dad, he will make sure his kids are not forgotten on any holiday.

Arthur is the hardest working person I've ever met.  I've seen people at some jobs where they are able to keep going all day, and never take a break.  Arthur really is this person.  A great example is just the other day at our baby shower with his family.  He woke up at 9:00 AM and started cooking and cleaning the house in preparation of the party.  He did not stop once to sit and rest.  He was on his feet all day.  I went to my Midwife appointment at 10:00 and when I got back, he'd transformed the upstairs into a tropical paradise for the party!  He kept working through until 6PM when his family arrived.

This is so typical of him.  He never likes to spend hours doing nothing, he is always being productive and making things better.  From home improvement, to our garden, to cooking, to cleaning... I always have an example in him to remind me that there is always something more I can do to stay productive.  This example and quality is going to be priceless when Finn is here.  Finn will never wonder if his dad has energy to do something with him.  He will always know that if he wants to go catch bugs or play outside or build Legos that Arthur is willing to do it with him.  Arthur's ability to stay busy is one of the main reasons why I married him. 

Arthur is ridiculously smart.  I had dated other guys in the past who struggled to maintain an intelligent conversation with me.  I am not shy to say that I really felt like I was smarter than most guys I had dated.  It was weird for me to finally spend time with someone who knew more about everything than I did.  I loved the challenge and the opportunity I had to learn more from Arthur.  Arthur's intelligence is not just knowing a lot of things.  He is confidently intelligent, which means that if he isn't sure about what to do about something, he doesn't let it stop him.  I on the other hand sometimes get frustrated and sit down to mentally think about why I can't figure something out.  Arthur just keeps thinking, keeps trying until he gets it right.  A prime example of this is all of the work he's done on our home.  He has finished virtually our entire basement.  It started out as an empty concrete room that spread across our whole basement.  There were no walls, no doors... just a big room.  He has turned it into an incredible living area - all on his own!  No one has had to come over and help him with the plumbing, or the wiring, or the drywall, or the framing, or the tiling.  You have to be smart to be able to do something like this.

Here is the basement in progress when he first started working on it:

 Here is the basement after, and before the furniture was put in:

 

Here is the downstairs bathroom before, just after he'd started framing the room and putting up the walls:

 Here is the finished product - he did it all on his own!

Not only is he smart about home improvement, he knows everything about animals.  He has created an incredible reef in the stone "fish fort" he built downstairs.  He can rattle off stats about how much salt needs to be in the water, or how the skimmer works, or how fish need a certain type of coral.  The complex set up he's made in his fish fort shows his ability to think intelligently.  I don't know if there's a book or a website out there that outlines step-by-step how to do what he's done.  I'm pretty sure he's had to just be smart about what the fish need, and figure it out.  I love that about Arthur!  When Finn is frustrated with a task or a project in the future, Arthur is going to be able to guide him and remind him that he can figure it out.

Arthur also loves Legos.  He can take any box of Legos, and no matter how complicated it is, he can get through it faster than any person I've ever met.  He not only builds Legos, but he loves to put things together.  Everyone who knows him knows that he is the best person to ask to help them put a bed together or put up some shelves.  He is so good at it, and he loves to do it.

Here is just a few of the Legos he has built:

Arthur is amazing at making things grow.  He has turned a desolate desert into a lush landscape.  When we moved into our home, we had nothing but rocks and dirt.  He has single-handedly (because I kill everything) created an oasis in our backyard where we can relax and look forward to letting Finn feel safe in the grass.

Here is the yard and our house as it was being built:

This is the front yard today, all of it was done by Arthur:

 Here is the backyard behind our house when we moved in:

 Here is the backyard oasis he has created:

There are so many other things I want to type here about how incredible Arthur is.  I think to narrow it down to one last thing that matters is that Finn will always know that Arthur loves me.  I have always felt like the most important love in a home is the love between a dad and a mom.  If the kids know that their parents love each other, then there will never be a question in their mind about their ability to love them.  Love is definitely a trait that can be an example.  When love is observed, it can be felt by the observer.  Arthur treats me with respect, he treats me with kindness and generosity.  He is intuitive about what I need.  I don't have to ask him for many things because he seems to just know.  In my nearly 10 years of knowing Arthur, I have not once worried about whether or not he loves me.  That has always been a for sure thing.  He always holds my hand, and he is patient with me when I want to be near him.  These things are crucial for a son to observe in his father.  Arthur is the best example of being a loving husband first and then a loving father.  Both are important, but without that foundation of a centered, happy marriage - a household will fall.  Everything stems from that, and I know Arthur will never show Finn anything else.  It is such a relief having this in my life, I really am the luckiest girl in the world - which means that Finn will be the luckiest son in the world.

Happy first Father's Day, Arthur!  You are the best daddy already.  Finn knows it, because he is happier when you are around.  When you are around, I am calmer, and happier, and Finn can feel how happy we are to have him coming here soon.  He can't wait for you to hold him and show him how amazing this world is.  He wants you to teach him how to build Legos, and put together a fish tank.  He wants to explore outside with you and learn how you make things in the garden grow. 

Finn and I love you very, very much!  Have a great day today!  You deserve it!  :)

30 days left!

Arthur and I have a  little countdown clock that tells us how many days are remaining in our countdown to our "guess date" of July 11.  Today, it says 30 days left!

 

Mostly I'm feeling really good, and trying to stay as positive as I can.  There are some moments where I feel overwhelmed, or sad, or tired... but for the most part, I try to remember how badly I wanted this and how ready I am to be a mom. 

I'm really excited for my baby shower this coming Friday, it's the last one before Baby Finn arrives.  Arthur and I are hosting it at our house, mainly because we want people to see our nursery since we've worked so hard to get it ready. 

Arthur was working on a baby shower game yesterday called The Price is Right.  He wants people to guess the prices for some of the items on our baby registry.  I thought it was cute that he was getting a game ready to go for the shower.  :)

I requested sugar cookies for one of the treat options at the shower because Arthur's mom makes the most delicious sugar cookies and frosting.  I can't wait to eat one!  Yum!

Arthur and I have continued to make sure we're practicing our Hypnobirthing techniques every night before bed.  Sometimes it's really difficult to get myself into a state of relaxation, but Arthur is really good at reminding me what to focus on and what to relax with.  I am really going to rely on him to keep me focused when I feel like I'm not able to stay relaxed.  I am so lucky to have someone who is as dedicated to the type of birth I want to have for my first baby. 

My next Midwife appointment is on Friday, I will be having them weekly now.  I will be tested for GBS (Group B Strep), and that will determine whether or not I need an IV antibiotic before I push my baby out.  I have been drinking a ton of water, and eating yogurt every day.  I'm not sure if that will help, but I know that I've been feeling good, with no problems so far... so I hope that I get a negative result. 

How far along:  35 Weeks, 5 Days
How much time left:  4 Weeks, 2 Days

Top two symptoms:  When I'm at work, it's a backache from sitting in my work chair.  When I'm at home, it's usually exhaustion or backache.  Today I've been pretty tired, but that might just be because I haven't had my nap today.  :)

Favorite thing I ate today:  An ice cream bar from Skinny Cow.  It's chocolate with salted caramel and pretzel chunks with vanilla ice cream.  So good!

Mood:  I felt a bit down last night, and tonight I'm feeling much more balanced.  Every day is different.  As I get past the last few milestones at work before I move to my new role/prepare for maternity leave, it takes stress away. 

Worried about:  I'm starting to worry about whether or not I will be ready when he gets here.  There are still a few things I want to do before he arrives, such as making some playlists for my Hypnobirthing, and packing my bag for the hospital.  I know I can't do a lot of packing this far in advance, because I need most of the stuff I'll be packing... I just need to be patient and attack the things that are most important right now. 

Excited for:  Friday's baby shower.  I'm excited for everyone to see Finn's nursery and I'm looking forward to seeing all of Arthur's family.  We made some cute invitations and paper mailed them to a few people who didn't respond on Facebook.  I really hope everyone who we invited can come.  :)  If you weren't invited, and you'd like to come, let me know by sending me a Facebook message and I'll add you to the baby shower group.  :)

Weekend Recap - Saturday and Sunday

So, to continue with my weekend recap!  I didn't get a chance to blog yesterday, and for that I apologize.  I know I committed to every day this month, but some nights I get so tired!  That's pretty normal for being 8+ months pregnant, right?  ;)

So on Saturday morning, Arthur and I were able to sleep in a bit.  I woke up around 8 because I heard my niece Brielle out in the living area talking.  There is nothing better than waking up to that.  :)  I went out there and hung out with her for a little while.  Arthur woke up and we ate breakfast.  My mom made some really good pancakes and scrambled eggs.  I loved the pancake... it was so good!

A little later that morning, my brother and his wife showed up with my nephew Jackson.  They decided to go swimming, so I watched them do that for awhile. 

Around noon, we all had a lunch of turkey sandwiches and chips.  I had one, it was delicious.  We then all got ready and headed out to Heber to go on the Heber Creeper railroad.

We arrived and waited for them to allow us to board the train.  We got on and found a seat in the oldest car.  As we went on the ride, it was pretty warm, but the breeze coming in through the windows was good.  I loved watching how excited Jackson got as he rode the train.

The whole train ride was about 90 minutes long, and when we got back my family and I drove up to Main Street in Heber to go to a restaurant called the Dairy Keen.  We waited in line and ordered our food.  I got a cheeseburger and French fries.  We took our food across the street to the park since there wasn't a lot of room in the dining area at the restaurant.  We sat at the pavilion and ate our dinner.  It was really good, and I appreciated being able to eat something... pregnancy makes you hungry!

After we ate, Arthur and I left the park a few minutes before the family because we needed to get food for breakfast in the morning, since we were cooking.  We went back to Park City and stopped at the Fresh Market.  We got eggs, potatoes, turkey sausage and bread for French toast. 

We got back to the condo and put the food away and hung out with the family.  We played some games, but I couldn't stay up too late because I was pretty tired. 

The next morning, I woke up at around 9 and got Arthur up to make breakfast.  We made cinnamon raisin French toast, white French toast, turkey sausage patties and shredded hashbrowns.  Everyone commented about how delicious everything was.  I was happy to get to cook for my family.  Arthur did a lot of the work, but I helped a little.  :)

After breakfast, I took an hour nap and got up to play some more games.  We all played Wacky 6s and that was really fun.  Sitting in the chairs at the table hurt my back, though... so I had 3 pillows for support. One behind my back, and two in front to support my stomach.  Ugh!

After we played games, Arthur said he wanted to go for a walk to the main square of Park City by the Alpine Slide.  I got ready and we walked down with my mom, my sister, my brother and his wife along with their kids.  Brielle couldn't go because she was napping.  She had not been feeling well the day prior, so it was good that she rested.

We all walked around and checked out the activities.  I'd love to come back some day and take Finn on some of the fun rides and stuff. 

We all walked back up to the condo and Arthur and I packed to go because we needed to get back in time to clean up the house a bit and do laundry before a new week.

We said goodbye to everyone and headed back to our home.

When we got there, we prepared dinner and watched some TV.  While we were eating, the power went out and we were really surprised, because the power rarely ever goes out.  We have underground powerlines, so it is very uncommon for it to happen.  We called the power company and they confirmed that there was an issue with a fuse.  The power came on after about an hour of being off.  Phew!

That night we did laundry and got ready for a new week.  Overall, the weekend went by really fast but it was really fun to spend some time with my family away from home.  :)

Weekend Recap - Friday

I wasn't able to get to a computer on Friday to update, and I was out of town for the weekend with my family so updating was really tough yesterday.  I wanted to make sure to blog today so I could at least catch up.  :) 

Friday was a good day, I was able to work from home in the morning.  I really appreciate that I have that benefit with my job so I can have a day in the week that I don't have to rush to get to work super early.  I normally get to work on Monday through Thursday at 7:30 AM and work until 6 because Arthur works 4 10 hour shifts, and we carpool.  So by the time Friday rolls around every week, I've already worked 40 hours as it is.  I love that I can chill out a bit some Fridays and get caught up on a few things.

Some good news related to my job that I haven't yet posted... I applied for a position working on a team that manages the knowledgebase at my job.  The knowledgebase (or KB for short) is a tool that teammates use when they take calls to look up answers for common questions the customers ask when they call eBay.  I applied for the job a couple of months ago and the hiring process was a bit slow, because they were posting it in Europe too.  I was able to pass the first interview round, which was with the person who would be my boss, and his boss.  I also passed the second round, which was a written assignment to see how well I would do actually working the job.  The last round was with a couple of the people who are already on the team.  I was offered the job just before Memorial Day weekend.  I was so excited to hear that I'd gotten it!

I will work in my current position until June 26th, and then I will move into my new role until I go out for maternity leave.  I will admit, it will be nice to not have to worry about my work here while I go out.  I am the type to stress about making sure everything is going smoothly while I'm away from the office... and being in a new position will force me to not stress because I won't to know too much about the job as it is, only be in the role for a couple of weeks until my due date.

I will be out on maternity leave for 6 weeks, and then I will take 6 weeks off for what is called "bonding time".  It's an optional benefit I can take, but it is unpaid.  I will then take 4 more weeks off for my 5 year eBay sabbatical.  Once you have worked for eBay for 5 years, the company gives you 4 weeks off, completely paid, on top of your normal Paid Time Off accrual.  I ended up saving mine back at the end of 2012, which was my 5th year.  I wanted to add it onto my maternity leave so I would have 16 consecutive weeks off to spend with my baby.  I'm so lucky to be able to have this time, and I'm definitely going to take advantage of it.  :)

Anyways, back to the updates.  So after work on Friday, Arthur and I went to our 35 week doctor's appointment with our Midwife.  I was excited to hear Finn's heartbeat and check in to make sure things were looking good.  We went in and waited for a bit, but not as long as I had to wait for my previous OB at past appointments.  She was really tired because she had been on call all day before and the previous night, and then had to come to the clinic for day appointments.  She was still attentive and remembered everything she needed to, which I appreciated.  Having no sleep and working two days in a row is really tough, I know.  She answered my two questions that I had and checked his heartbeat.  My questions were about the position he is in as well as about his hiccups. 

She had me lie on the table and she felt my stomach to locate where he was.  She confirmed that he is head down and his back is facing my right side.  She also told me that hiccups are totally normal, and are good practice for his diaphragm and lungs.  I felt great after hearing these two answers from her.  She measured me and my fundal height was at 34-35cm, which means he is measuring right around where he should be for 35 weeks. 

We left our appointment and went to have a late lunch at a Mexican restaurant in Sandy because Arthur had a Groupon.  It was really good, and the servings were big.  I had a beef burrito with beans and rice on the side.  Arthur had a seafood burrito with shrimp.  We then got ready to head up to Park City to meet up with my family.

My mom and Dad had traded their timeshare weeks to get a few units in Park City for the week.  Because I have to work all week next week, I told them we would only be able to stay Friday and Saturday nights.  I was really sad to not be able to stay the whole time, but I figured I would give as much time as I could.

We arrived up there around 6:30 or so and got unpacked and settled.  My sister and her husband and kids arrived around 8 or so and we all had pizza and stayed up and talked.  I shared a bunch of my Hypnobirthing information with my sister, and I was really grateful to hear she'd like to try it on her next pregnancy.  She is very into natural medicine, and so I figured some of the information I had to share would be interesting to her. 

We went to bed pretty late, around 12:30 AM, which is the latest I've gone to bed in awhile.  I was pretty tired, but Arthur and I still made time to practice our Hypnobirth breathing and a script as I went off to sleep. 

I'll be posting Saturday's update soon!  Check back!

 

My Favorite Hypnobirth Video

I've done great with updating my blog every day this month!  I don't always post that I've updated on Facebook, so I suggest that you bookmark my blog and check back if you're interested in reading it without notification.  :)  My URL is http://theminersonline.blogspot.com/

Anyway, on to the topic for the day!  :)  Every night before bed, Arthur and I are practicing our Hypnobirth exercises.  It's crucial that I am able to move into a state of complete relaxation when I start having my early labor contractions.

I find that breathing and relaxing is really easy for me, and so I feel like my Hypnobirth will be successful.  One of the first examples I saw of Hypnobirthing was on YouTube.  I found a really great example of a hospital Hypnobirth when I was first researching it. 

Some of the things that really stood out to me was the fact that she was so far dilated, and she wasn't screaming in pain or on her back.  I also was surprised that she wasn't holding her breath during pushing.  This was really different from all of the stories I had heard of birthing.  How would the baby even move if she wasn't bearing down?  I didn't understand.

Now that I've been through the class, and I understand how breathing can deliver the baby for you, it is something I am really excited for.

The other thing I loved about this example was how alert the baby was after, and how agile the mom is, walking around so freely and not hurting or exhausted.  I will have this!

I decided to share this cool video of my favorite hospital Hypnobirth example.  Let me know what you think!
   

Just Another Wednesday!

It's been awhile since I just had a normal blog update about my daily routine.  Personally, when I read blogs that other people write, I like the ones that tell me more about their daily lives.  That is the most interesting part of blogs, in my opinion.

Today I woke up very early, at 4:55 AM.  This is fairly normal for me because my body usually gets me up at that time because staying in one position for too long while I'm asleep can be uncomfortable.  I am sleeping with 5 pillows at night to support myself, so once I've exhausted every toss and turn, I usually have to get up. 

My morning routine is pretty specific.  I get up, make a breakfast of lowfat fruit yogurt and bran cereal, eat that while I take my vitamins and check my Facebook.  I get into the shower and get ready at 5:45.  I am then ready to carpool with Arthur by about 6:45 every morning.  This morning was different because I wasn't feeling very well.

I told Arthur I didn't want to carpool today and I went back to sleep until he was getting ready to leave.  When he left, I got up and started to slowly get going.  Some days this just happens, and I have to be patient with myself if I can't keep up with the pace all of the time. 

I got to work a bit later, and all of the Maternity parking spots were taken.  As I was driving past the parking stalls for Maternity to check, there was a man, yes a MAN getting out of his car where he'd just parked in the last available stall.  I may or may not have glared at him and shook my head.  He just kept walking to the building.  I guess I can't judge him, maybe he has a good reason.  All I know is that if you're going to park in Maternity, then you should at least be a female.  :)

I went in to work and stayed busy the whole day until I left around 5.  I got home and checked the mail and I saw that my birthing gown was here!  My birthing gown is something I ordered to wear to the hospital to have my baby in.  There is something about the hospital gown that makes me feel like I'm sick, or a patient.  I don't want to feel that way, so I ordered something that is functional like a hospital gown, but still helps me feel like a woman.  It's brown with a blue tie.  The shoulders are Velcro so breastfeeding is easy.  The front unties so the back can be exposed if needed.  It's long enough that it covers my knees.  I tried it on and I'm so happy I got it!  It's going to be nice to have something comfortable to wear in the hospital that doesn't make me feel like I'm a patient in.  :)

 After I tried on my gown, I needed a nap.  Arthur came home at 7:30 and I was still napping.  He made dinner even though it was my night.  Arthur is a champion!  I appreciated not having to cook.

We watched America's Got Talent and a few other shows while we ate dinner.  My back was hurting so I took a quick bath and now I'm just getting my blogging wrapped up before we go to bed at 11.  That's a pretty normal day for me aside from the fact that I didn't carpool.  A little boring, maybe - but I know that my life will no longer be boring in 36ish days!  :)

Another update tomorrow!  :)
 

11 Year Surgiversary!

June 4 is a special day.  11 years ago today I underwent Gastric Bypass surgery.  I was 19 years old.  It's a pretty special day for me because on that day 11 years ago, my life changed forever!

I was always overweight growing up and I never felt like I got the chance to be "normal" when I was a child.  I was always the most overweight kid in class and I never felt like I fit in quite right.  Even when my mom wrote in my childhood journal, she talked about how she was worried about my weight at 4, 5 and 6 years old. 

In my mid-teens I had to hide how I ate from my parents.  As I got into my late teens, I started to not care and ate what I wanted, when I wanted.  I really lost all control.  I would store food under my bed or in my closet, afraid that someone would find my "stash" and take it from me.  To this day, I am known to overbuy at the grocery store because I still worry about not having what I will want/need.  That never goes away.

My parents always had my best interest at heart.  My mom took me to doctors from the age of 6 on.  I was always kept on a strict diet and exercise program, until I was 18.  I visited a weight-loss camp twice in my teens to try to force a healthy lifestyle change by removing me from my every day environment.  This did nothing but expose me to social situations I was not ready for, and only pushed me to think about the day I could come home and eat.  My friends always ignored my weight problem and tried to include me the best they could.  I had a very hard time trusting good friends, and still do to this day. 

The list of things I tried is long, and the amount of money spent is high.  Monthly doctor's visits, therapy, Weight Watchers, diet pills, crash diets, "zone" diets, blood type diets, exact menu diets, weight-loss camp (twice), expensive weekly hypnosis sessions for 1 year, shakes, meatless and even fasting were a few of the many things I tried.  Once I realized that I was dealing with a true addiction, I knew that no diet could help me.  I knew that I needed an "intervention".

Overeating to me was very calming.  It sometimes made me very happy or excited if I mixed it with other activities, such as eating socially or eating in front of the computer/television.  I found that when I ate, I instantly felt better, more healthy, and happier.  I would compare it to any addiction, from smoking, to drugs or alcohol.  It was (and is) the same process in my brain, and it is just as hard to quit. 

I had the desire to be successful - I always had my final result in mind.  I was taught from a young age to visualize myself achieving my goal.  My struggle was with the method to get there.  I couldn't stand the taste of diet food, and I had mental breakdowns if I had to force myself to diet.  I felt a sense of panic and alarm when I knew I had to say no to fast food or treats.  I hated not feeling like I could choose what I wanted.  Diets and exercise took my freedom from me, and I hated feeling like I was forced to do something that made me feel so miserable.  I also saw minimal results - which was disappointing time after time.

Eventually, once I decided how I was going to tackle my problem by having gastric bypass surgery, I had mixed reactions from my family and friends.  My mom was excited for me, and worked hard to help me accomplish the goal.  My dad felt I had the ability to change on my own, and encouraged me to work on my weight the "right way" of traditional diet and exercise.  This was frustrating because I knew I had tried it, and wanted to prove him wrong. 

Some of the physical issues I struggled with were a lot of gastric problems such as indigestion and heartburn as time came closer to my surgery.  I could feel the acid climbing up my esophagus, and it was diagnosed as acid reflux.  I also suffered from sleep apnea and after being tested, realized I quit breathing during the night multiple times.  I noticed that the sleep apnea led to tiredness during the day to the point of narcolepsy.  I lost 2 different jobs from falling asleep at my desk.  I didn't think this had to do with the sleep apnea, but my doctor informed me that it did.  Even from childhood on, I had suffered from high blood pressure.  I had no energy, and I was very depressed emotionally.  These were just a few of the physical problems I was dealing with right before surgery.

During the months before surgery, I had been "job-hopping".  I often quit jobs or was fired because I had started to lose interest in life at the age of 18.  Employers did not like that I appeared sloppy as an overweight person, despite how well I dressed or how professional and intelligent I was.  I had numerous relationships, and all of them felt very superficial.  I could not travel or spend a lot of time in places that did not accommodate overweight people well.  I broke chairs, I ripped clothes, and my personality was over the top.  I started to not care about anything.  Everything was a joke, and nothing could keep me emotionally stable.  I was literally out of control.

The simple fact offered to me by my doctor was that I would be dead before I was 30 if I continued to gain weight as I was doing.  The sleep apnea combined with the acid reflux and gall bladder disease, my body was on a fast track to death.

On June 4, 2002 I was my heaviest at 349 pounds.  On that day, I had open Roux-en-Y Gastric Bypass surgery.  The goal of the surgery is to re-wire your intestines and stomach, and to make a pouch so just a little bit of food can be allowed in the stomach.  The nutrients are absorbed into the intestines, and sugars and fats are instantly absorbed into the blood stream.  This causes the body to react to a small amount of sugar as if it is a lot.  The result of eating ice cream or other sweets is called "dumping", or what I sometimes call "death".  This violent physical reaction to unhealthy foods is what helps someone who is addicted to food stop their bad habits.  It could be compared to an alcoholic being hungover to the point of passing out every time they take a couple of sips of alcohol.  It trains the body and the mind to not want unhealthy things.  This combined with the reduced size of the stomach forces the body to want less food, and mostly all healthy food.  It is a great tool that takes the choice away from the food addict. 

I saw results very fast, loosing 35 lbs in the first month.  By 2 years after I had surgery, I had nearly hit my goal weight of 149 lbs, which is a 200 lb weight loss.  I have gained back probably 75 of these pounds, but after 11 years, I consider it to be a great accomplishment to have kept it off for so long.  Most of my weight gain has been in the past year or so since I've started trying to conceive and being pregnant.  I'm excited to get back on track once Finn is here and I can focus on a lean diet and some great rigorous exercise. 

I really feel like I have a unique story and that I've been super successful.  Some may consider me still overweight based on how I look today... but I am still very proud of the journey I've taken to come as far as I have since I was 19.  Now, I'm not going to be dead by the time I'm 30, I'm alive and about to bring another life into this world.  How cool is that?! 

Now, I try to help others when they are in the process of trying to decide whether or not to have surgery or which type of surgery is right for them.  I usually ask questions to understand why they are dealing with obesity in the first place.  To understand their triggers and the root cause, I can then help them decide on the best surgery option for them... or help them see if surgery is even right.  There is no specific answer for any person, because everyone is so different.

I am excited to have Finn here so I can show him healthy eating habits while still allowing him choices when he is starting to eat as a toddler and a child.  I know I can't make a big deal out of food, and I know that I must allow him the ability to choose from a variety of healthy options.  I have to set an example for him and I know he will follow my lead.  This is a big responsibility, but I am confident that I am ready for it! 

Here is me before:

Happy 11 years to me!  And here is to many more!   :)

70th Post and Pregnancy Update

Can you believe there are only 38 days left until my "guess date" of July 11?!  I am so surprised that the time has really flown by since my 20 week ultrasound.  I think the first half of pregnancy is definitely the most  challenging. 

Last time I updated about my pregnancy, I was just over 30 weeks along.  I am now 34 weeks, and will be 35 this upcoming Thursday.  The physical changes have definitely been more drastic over the past few weeks, and I've really started noticing how different my body is getting as I get further along.

The biggest changes are how I'm moving around, and how I balance my body.  I am carrying Finn really far back, and so I often get comments about how much I'm not showing, or that people are really amazed that I have just over a month left.  I know that when you have your first baby, you may not show as much as a second time mom does who has already been stretched and her body is able to accommodate a growing baby.

I had a tummy tuck back in 2005 and so my lower stomach is very tight where the plastic surgeon tightened my stomach muscles and removed skin from the weight I lost from gastric bypass.  Finn has been hanging out mostly sideways, and I can usually feel his feet and legs towards the top-right side of my body.  I think he is positioned upside down with his head at my pelvis.  This is a good thing, and I think my positioning techniques are working. 

In our Hypnobirth class, Arthur and I learned about positioning techniques that will help Finn be in the best position for birthing quickly and easily.  This position is him facing backwards (towards my bottom), with his head down and his feet straight up in the air.  If he faces forward, looking the same direction I look, it can be a really painful back labor.  I am trying really hard to keep my body in positions that encourage Finn to be turned the right direction.  One of these techniques are to "make a hammock", which means lean forward as often as possible and make my stomach like a hammock that encourages him to relax into my stomach with his back facing the front.  I think I've done a pretty good job so far, but I know he can turn as time comes closer to when he arrives.

My only complaints these days are a sore back and the occasional headache.  I really do feel good most days, and I surprise myself when I remind myself that I am almost done.  I think I assumed that pregnancy would be so much more miserable at this time.  Part of it might be the stories I've heard and part of it could be from what I've seen on TV/movies.  I think my attitude has a lot to do with it, and the fact that Arthur doesn't have much tolerance for negativity...  He is really great at reminding me of the positive things like "At least you're pregnant!"  Anytime that Baby Finn is rolling around on my bladder, or hiccupping for the millionth time in a day, I verbally say how grateful I am that he is moving.  I really appreciate how active he is.  :)

I haven't felt any "practice surges" or Braxton Hicks contractions.  I sometimes feel my stomach get hard, but then I wonder if it's just my imagination.  I occasionally get minor cramping in my lower abdomen and so that could be it.  I really am looking forward to the real feeling of a legit contraction, because to me it will mean progress.  I hope I maintain this positive outlook and excited mentality.  I do see many people in my life who get to the end (39, 40, 41 weeks) and start to say that they want the baby out now.  I think since I still have 5 weeks left until this point, I am not yet feeling that stir crazy emotion.  I am not sure it will happen for me, but I know that I am prepared for when I start to stress out about his arrival.

I have our next doctor's appointment this coming Friday with our new Certified Nurse Midwife.  She met with us 2 weeks ago, and I loved everything about her.  She works with a group of Nurse Midwives who back each other up and deliver babies at American Fork Hospital.  I was so grateful to have her say some of the things I have been hoping for in the person who would deliver my baby.  I made the right choice to "fire" my OBGYN.  I will tell more about this in a future post.

I didn't want to publicize it, but I have decided to post every day this month in anticipation of Finn's arrival.  This will give me something to focus on every day, and it will help me to document the progress I make as I get closer.  If I miss a day, I won't beat myself up, but I am definitely going to make a very conscious effort to try.  :)

How far along:  34 Weeks, 4 Days
How much time left:  5 Weeks, 3 Days

Top two symptoms:  Backache and headache.  I've got Tylenol and a blanket I use at work to keep my back supported.  I am now sleeping with 5 (yes 5) pillows at night to help myself feel supported.  I sleep really well most nights, which I appreciate.

Favorite thing I ate today:  Fresh green beans from Costco.  SO GOOD!

Mood:  Excited now that time is getting closer to his arrival.  I am more excited for the birth process than anything.... is that weird?!

Worried about:  I'm not worried about too many things at this point.  I think my main concerns is that he will decide to come early and he will mess up my last few weeks of plans before he gets here... but if he gets here early, then it must mean he's ready.  I know he's pretty much done cooking, he just needs to fill out a little before he comes out.  I want a healthy fat baby boy!  :)

Excited for:  Time off of work!  I will be taking 4 months off starting when Finn arrives.  I get 6 weeks maternity leave, 6 weeks bonding time and 4 weeks paid with my eBay 5 year sabbatical.  That equals out to be 16 whole weeks!  I won't have to go back to work until November.  How nice is that!?  I am excited to have a brief taste of being a stay-at-home mom.  Arthur likes to bet that I will go stir crazy, but I think I will do just great.  I am looking forward to a break and to focusing on something that isn't an email or a PowerPoint.  ;)

Nursery Updates!

I have had the nesting bug really bad ever since my little brother Mike moved out.  The last time you saw my nursery, I had only painted the walls.  Arthur and I have been working like crazy to get Baby Finn's room ready for him to arrive.

Once the carpets were cleaned, we slowly started to move everything into his room.  We started with his crib and his dresser.  We didn't have a mattress yet, so I ordered that online and had it shipped 2-day air.  I couldn't wait to make his bed and put his mobile in it!

As soon as his mattress was here, Arthur helped make the bed and I put some of his stuffed animals in it.  I also filled his drawers with onesies and put some books on top of his dresser.  It was great to have my rocker set up in the corner of the room.  As we started to gather things, I would instantly want them set up!

Here are some pictures of the nursery as it is today.  There are just a few things left to get, and then we are ready!

Here is the room, standing at the doorway.  The fish decals we ordered online and Arthur cut them out and positioned them on the wall all by himself.  The 3 orange fish in the middle represent Arthur, Finn and Me.  I loved the way they turned out!  His window seat holds his toys and there is an empty spot for Arthur to sit next to me when we read to Baby Finn.  The curtains are blackout so Finn will be able to nap in the dark.  :)  The curtain panel in the middle came with his bed set and it matches his blanket and crib sides.

Here is the first thing you see when you walk in.  My good friend Jenn made this for his wall.

 

Here is a close up of the picture.  Jenn stitched it by hand out of felt!  I sent her a picture of Finn's mobile on his crib and this is what she created from just a picture!  She is so creative.  :)

 

This is his bassinette.  The blanket on top was knitted by my cousin Andrea.  She matched the colors perfectly with the rest of the room.  Obviously, KitKat loves the bed.  She had a nap in here for several hours one day.  You can see sleepytime Finn behind her from Adventure Time.  I'm excited to roll this into our room when Finn gets here so he can sleep next to me!

Here is a view of the letters I made Finn this week.  I wanted to do letters above his bed originally, but because we decided to do the fish instead, I put them on top of his closet.  I got the letters and the fish shapes from Joann's crafts.  They were originally a natural wood color, so I painted them white and then super glued the fish on.  Arthur helped me hang them up yesterday.  I was so excited to see them finished finally!

Here is a close-up of the letters.  The ribbon holding each letter up is twine, with white stripes painted on.  I got the ribbon at Hobby Lobby.  It ended up really cute, I think!

Here is the inside of his crib.  Right now I'm storing his Boppy in there.  I have a few more stuffed animals in the crib as well.  The bedding is from KidsLine and I bought it on eBay.  Arthur and I looked for a long time for a bedding set that we loved.  We liked this one because the colors were really bright and they were the type of fish design we were looking for.  The mobile is from Arthur's aunt JeNeal.  Can you spot the other Finn we have? 

 

Next to the crib, we have his play mat with a bunch of ocean toys on it.  I'm excited to let him lie on it and play with the toys.  I also got a MamaRoo bouncer for him from my mom and dad.  They loved going with Arthur and me to the baby store and picking it out with us.  They were so excited to buy something for Baby Finn!  It is a really cool bouncer, it moves like a person bouncing a baby.  There are sounds and an iPhone jack so I can play music for him while he relaxes in it.  If you haven't seen the cool MamaRoo video, you'll have to check it out. 

 

Here is the video for the MamaRoo:

 

Here is a picture of Teddy Ruxpin trying out our MamaRoo:

 

Next to his window seat is my rocker.  I got this from Arthur's mom for Christmas this past year.  I usually put on his fleece blanket that goes with his bed set and a knitted baby blanket from his Grandma on his dad's side.  Arthur and I got the wall shelf from Home Depot, we liked it because it looks like an ocean wave.  I have a few frames up there right now, one is from his mom showing the birth day and time and measurements for Finn, and the other one is from my sister-in-law Whitney.  It has a great quote about motherhood.  I spend hours in this corner, rocking and listening to music from his mobile.  I like using the Twilight Turtle to put blue stars on the ceiling.  It's really relaxing.  My favorite thing is when Arthur sits next to me on the window seat and he reads books to Baby Finn.  He does all the voices from the books and doesn't skip parts.  :)

Here is his dresser.  The lamp on the left is a cute whale that matches the bedding set we got, also by KidsLine.  In front of that is my Mother's Day snow globe and Baby Finn's journal.  I'll be writing in it before he is born and after he is born so he has something he can read about his birth that I wrote.  My mom did that for me, and it's one of my most prized possessions.  I love reading about my first few days and weeks after I was born.  Next to his lamp, you can see his big pile of books he has already.  I hope Finn loves to read!  Next to that is our baby monitor and his baby album with all of his ultrasound pictures.  In front of those things you can see my essential oils and hot pad that Arthur's mom and brother gave me for my birthday.  Next to that is the fish I made for Finn at Color Me Mine.  Then, you'll see his framed 3D ultrasound picture that shows the best view of his face.  I love to spend time looking at it when I'm sitting in my rocker.

Here is the amazing light fixture Arthur found online.  We debated between this one and a ceiling fan with palm leaves, but I'm glad we ended on this one because it really matched his crib and dresser. 

 Overall, the experience of putting his room together has been so fun.  I have loved coming home from every one of our baby showers and putting things away.  We are so lucky to have such generous friends and family to help us get ready for Baby Finn.  I'm excited for Finn to get here so he can enjoy his room!  :)

The last thing I will say about this whole experience is that Arthur has been incredible through this whole process.  He has been SO patient with me and allowed me to be obsessive about even the tiniest detail when putting things together.  He has spent hours moving things around and building things so I can feel like there is a special place for Finn to come home to after he is born.  I am so lucky to have such a hard working and patient husband.  Not to mention talented with great taste! 

Boise Baby Shower

May seems to be Baby Shower month!  I have had 3 so far, and I was really excited for the one up in Boise with my family on my mom's side.  I decided I wanted to have the shower over Memorial Day weekend up in Boise so we could also go visit my Grandpa's grave since he is buried up there.

My sister made a really cute invitation for the Boise shower, and I loved the colors and the fish on it:

 

I had to work on Friday, and I was able to get off a little bit early on May 24.  Arthur came and picked me up and we headed up to Boise.  The drive takes about 6 hours, so I was hoping to do ok seeing that I was 33 weeks pregnant (just over 8 months) at the time.  We stopped a few times and I was able to have enough bathroom breaks, so I did ok.  :)  It was nice to get a nap in on the way up.

Arthur and I arrived at the hotel called The Harrison in Boise around 6PM.  We got checked in and our room was on the 4th (top) floor.  It was the Executive Suite!  I think the executive part was that it had a nice view of the roof.  Arthur and I joked that it was like the Ray Charles suite, because the only person who would enjoy that view would be someone who couldn't see.  :) 

We went to dinner that night at the Cracker Barrel.  It was nice and relaxing, and I felt like I was on vacation.  I realized that this would probably be the last time that Arthur and I get to travel together before we have a baby. 

The next morning, we got ready and I headed over to my Grandma's house.  My sister Adrienne and my sister-in-law Whitney had decorated the house so cute!  They also had amazing fish themed foods!  Adrienne had made blue Jell-O with little fish candies in it.  She also cut out fish shaped fruits and made kabobs out of them.  She also chocolate dipped strawberries and Swedish Fish and put fish faces on them.  The food was delicious! 

Here is the main table decorated with my amazing diaper cake.  We saved a lot of the decorations so we can use them for our shower with Arthur's family in 2 weeks:

Here is a picture of the food and some more of the decorations.  My sister-in-law made an amazing wreath for Baby Finn.  I am going to put it on my hospital door like they do in Texas!  Check out the blue Mambo drinks my sister got!

Here is a picture of Arthur, my grandma and me with the swing she got us.  She was so excited to give it to us!

Some of the kids got bored and went downstairs to play in "The Pit".  The Pit is a big set of couches in the basement where all of the cousins have grown up watching movies and playing. 

Here is the shower crew hanging out on the couch.  It was such a fun day!

After the shower, we hung out and enjoyed the afternoon.  Around 5, we went to the cemetery to visit my grandpa's grave.  It was really nice to see it in person.  It was beautiful! 

Arthur and I didn't stay super long because I was really tired and my feet were starting to swell up.  I needed to put them up for a bit.

That night, Arthur and I went out to dinner and relaxed the rest of the evening.  It was a great time away and I was so grateful for the amazing gifts and time with my family.  I loved seeing all of my fun cousins and spending time at my Grandma's house.
 

Bountiful Baby Shower

My first baby shower was with my team at work.  I had my second baby shower on Saturday, May 18.  I have some lady friends who live in Bountiful by my parent's house who wanted to throw me a shower.  I've known many of them since I was 8 when I moved into the Bountiful house. 

My sister made an amazing invitation for the shower and she and my mom sent them out.  The invitation was really cute. 

The day of the shower, I was super excited.  I got up early and wore a new maternity shirt that I had gotten earlier in the week with a gift card from Arthur.  It was the first bright colors I've worn in awhile, since I have mostly white, black and grey maternity shirts.  I really liked the shading of the colors, and it made me feel happy. 

I drove up to Bountiful and got there a few minutes before it started at 11:00 AM.  It was at the house of a woman who I used to work for when I was a teenager.  I cleaned her house and took care of her elderly mother who had Alzheimer's.  I spent a lot of time there, so I was happy to be back.  There were already a lot of great decorations set up, including an amazing sheet cake made by someone in the neighborhood. 

The dining room table had some cute treats and balloons put up for the party.  I loved it!

A lot of people showed up and I was happy to be able to see so many people from my past.  They were all so generous and I got a bunch of really great stuff!

Here are some more pictures from the shower:

This is Thuryle, Brielle and me.  Thuryle is the woman who hosted the shower.  She is like my second mom!

 



Brielle, Me and my giant "It's a Boy!" cake!

 

My mom and me and my cake:

Here are so more ladies from the neighborhood:

This is a girl I grew up with, she was a year younger than me in school.  Her name is Ashley.  Look how cute her baby girl is!  She is sitting with her mom:

Here is my sweet Aunt Margaret, Aunt Joni and another lady from the neighborhood:

Some more ladies, including my Aunt Kathi and cousin Nikki:

More ladies!

This is the baby shower crew.  Deb is on the bottom left hand side.  She did a lot of the prep work with my mom and sister.  My sister is next to her, then Thuryle.  Then there's me and my sweet Brielle.  My mom and Rene are at the top.  What a great looking group! 

 

Overall, the shower was really fun.  There was a lot of rain and people still showed up!  I also was pretty proud of myself for writing thank you cards as soon as I got home.  Arthur was a big help and he made sure I was able to get through the whole list of gifts and cards before we went to bed that night.  It was so fun going through all of the gifts and showing them to Arthur.  Baby Finn is so spoiled already!  :)