PREGNANT! My goodness, I never thought I would really have too many symptoms... but I think on week 6, someone slipped me a pregnancy symptom pill. I am definitely pregnant now.
I didn't get to blog yesterday because we had an activity in the evening with Brielle and Mike after work. Arthur and I bought tickets to Disney on Ice back in August, and we wanted to take Brielle to it since she loves Princesses these days. She was so good, and so happy the whole time. We went to the Cheesecake Factory at City Creek. Brielle ordered Mac and Cheese, and she loved it. She was saying "yum, yum, yum!" over and over again. It was so cute.
Today was a really rough day. I really struggled to get through it. It started out rough, even. I had a terrible dream that I miscarried... and I was so sad when I woke up. I know that it wasn't real, though... and that brought me peace and comfort to know that I was actually still pregnant. Even though I wanted this for so long, and tried and wished and hoped... I didn't really think through the other stuff that comes with it. I know that when I wasn't pregnant, I told myself that I would embrace any symptom or event that came with it. I obviously underestimated my ability to stay sane about it. :) I just have to keep focusing on the positive and it will all turn out ok.
Today was also rough for other reasons... I had some insecurity issues, some worries about not being liked, and some worries about whether or not I was a good enough friend. I always think that certain childhood feelings of being left out, or being taken for granted would go away as an adult, and they don't. I just have to remember that I am not in control of everything, and I have to focus on what I am able to be a part of.
My biggest struggle today aside from not feeling good enough, was feeling physically gross. I was exhausted, had a headache, and was dealing with a mental block that was almost too big to see past. I realized that I needed to take a break and so on my lunch I went out and took a nap in my car. It helped a lot. I was able to finish up my day OK.
How far along: 6 Weeks TODAY!!
How much time left: 34 Weeks
Top two symptoms: Today I will pick three because I had 3. Mental block, exhaustion and nausea in that order. I tried to snack on saltines and beef jerky throughout the day and that really helped my nausea. The mental block thing has got to go, though. I also fought to keep my eyes open most of the day.
Favorite thing I ate today: A doughnut from 711 and a slurpee. I needed a sugar boost after my nap because otherwise, I wasn't going to make it through the day.
Mood: Today I was G-R-U-M-P-Y. With all capital letters. It was awful. I really tried to stay positive, but being so grumpy didn't allow me to focus on much of anything aside from the stuff that was making me mad. I will make a conscious effort to be happy tomorrow, and not grumpy. :)
Worried about: Thanksgiving at my house. It's going to be a lot of stress, and I hope that I make it through the day. Arthur and his mom will probably cook the most part of the meal and I might be able to help with a few things... also, I'll probably spend the day cleaning. I'm *so glad* I have Thanksgiving and the day after off.
Excited for: This trimester to pass. I am really looking forward to December 14, which is when I will get to hear my baby's heartbeat the first time. And right now, I'm excited for sleep. ;)
I didn't get to blog yesterday because we had an activity in the evening with Brielle and Mike after work. Arthur and I bought tickets to Disney on Ice back in August, and we wanted to take Brielle to it since she loves Princesses these days. She was so good, and so happy the whole time. We went to the Cheesecake Factory at City Creek. Brielle ordered Mac and Cheese, and she loved it. She was saying "yum, yum, yum!" over and over again. It was so cute.
Today was a really rough day. I really struggled to get through it. It started out rough, even. I had a terrible dream that I miscarried... and I was so sad when I woke up. I know that it wasn't real, though... and that brought me peace and comfort to know that I was actually still pregnant. Even though I wanted this for so long, and tried and wished and hoped... I didn't really think through the other stuff that comes with it. I know that when I wasn't pregnant, I told myself that I would embrace any symptom or event that came with it. I obviously underestimated my ability to stay sane about it. :) I just have to keep focusing on the positive and it will all turn out ok.
Today was also rough for other reasons... I had some insecurity issues, some worries about not being liked, and some worries about whether or not I was a good enough friend. I always think that certain childhood feelings of being left out, or being taken for granted would go away as an adult, and they don't. I just have to remember that I am not in control of everything, and I have to focus on what I am able to be a part of.
My biggest struggle today aside from not feeling good enough, was feeling physically gross. I was exhausted, had a headache, and was dealing with a mental block that was almost too big to see past. I realized that I needed to take a break and so on my lunch I went out and took a nap in my car. It helped a lot. I was able to finish up my day OK.
How far along: 6 Weeks TODAY!!
How much time left: 34 Weeks
Top two symptoms: Today I will pick three because I had 3. Mental block, exhaustion and nausea in that order. I tried to snack on saltines and beef jerky throughout the day and that really helped my nausea. The mental block thing has got to go, though. I also fought to keep my eyes open most of the day.
Favorite thing I ate today: A doughnut from 711 and a slurpee. I needed a sugar boost after my nap because otherwise, I wasn't going to make it through the day.
Mood: Today I was G-R-U-M-P-Y. With all capital letters. It was awful. I really tried to stay positive, but being so grumpy didn't allow me to focus on much of anything aside from the stuff that was making me mad. I will make a conscious effort to be happy tomorrow, and not grumpy. :)
Worried about: Thanksgiving at my house. It's going to be a lot of stress, and I hope that I make it through the day. Arthur and his mom will probably cook the most part of the meal and I might be able to help with a few things... also, I'll probably spend the day cleaning. I'm *so glad* I have Thanksgiving and the day after off.
Excited for: This trimester to pass. I am really looking forward to December 14, which is when I will get to hear my baby's heartbeat the first time. And right now, I'm excited for sleep. ;)
