Movie Sunday

It's Sunday!  It's also my day off.  I am feeling better today than I've felt in awhile, but I'm still really tired.  It's chores day, and I'm struggling with getting started.  Mostly because of how tired I am and because of my back hurting.

I went to bed last night at around 11:30 and woke up the first time at 5:30.  I was proud of myself for sleeping for so long.  My normal wake up time is 3 or 4 AM.  I went back to sleep downstairs until 9:00.  I appreciated the few extra hours.

Arthur made me breakfast, and I appreciated that.  That was one of the many reasons why I married him.  He is such an amazing cook, and even if he makes something simple like eggs cooked in bread (called camel eyes), it is absolutely delicious.  While we ate breakfast, we watched a movie, "What To Expect When You're Expecting."

I really enjoyed the movie.  I laughed a lot, and it made me feel less alone on some of the dumb symptoms.  There are like 5 different pregnancy stories, and every one is different.  One person who is adopting, one person who isn't expecting a baby, one person who is trying, one person who is the girl we all hate, etc.  It's fun to watch some of the things that I am always thinking that I think no one else thinks.

After the movie, I started the laundry and since then I've been thinking of starting my chores.  Chores are a bugger.  I'm so tired and I don't feel like moving much at all.  I know that I was like that before I got pregnant, but now it's even harder to get myself going.

So, I took a nap earlier this afternoon for 1 hour.  It was nice to fall asleep and feel like I was more awake for the rest of the day.  So now I'm eating some lunch and I'll then go finish up my chores for the day.

After my chores tonight, Arthur and I will eat dinner and maybe watch Dexter.  It's a new week, and it's a short week since Thanksgiving is going to give me 2 extra days off (Thursday and Friday).  :)  Hurray for paid time off!!  :)

 How far along:  6 Weeks, 3 days
How much time left:  33 weeks, 4 days
Top two symptoms:  Exhaustion and slight head pressure.  It's better today!!  :)

Favorite thing I ate today:  The camel eyes Arthur made me for breakfast.  So good!

Mood:  Today I have felt physically better than I've felt in awhile.  It kind of scared me after we watched the movie today, that I wasn't feeling like crap.  I'm used to feeling awful all day long.  I have been drinking more water, and maybe that's helping.  My mood overall is ok, maybe still a little bit lazy.

Worried about:   The decrease in symptom severity today.  I looked up "symptoms come and go" on some of my pregnancy message boards and it looks like it's pretty normal.  I still worry that if my symptoms go away then I might miscarry.  I am still staying positive. 

Excited for:  I'm really looking forward to eating Thanksgiving Dinner.  Arthur makes the most delicious mashed potatoes and stuffing.  Sometimes he makes me Thanksgiving Dinner during the year with a smaller sized turkey/turkey breast, since he loves it.  I enjoy it even more on the actual day.  I'm also looking forward to shopping on the day after Thanksgiving.  I love going out early and seeing the angry people grabbing stuff and pushing through long lines.  So awesome.

Every other day?

I seem to be trending every other day for my blog updates.  I know I committed to every day, but some days it is really hard to sit down and dedicate this time.  I know how important it is, so I will really try harder this week to blog every day.  I also know that there are going to be a lot of things going on leading up to me telling friends and family that I'm pregnant, so I want to keep this blog updated as much as I can.

Yesterday was Friday, and I had to work all day.  I went in around 8:30 AM and had a bunch of meetings until 1 or so.  My afternoon meetings were cancelled, which was nice.  I had some pretty annoying nausea and head pressure, so I was grateful to go home a bit early at 3:30 PM. 

On Friday night, I drove home and took a nice long nap until about 5:30.  Arthur came home at about 8 with Chinese food.  I wasn't incredibly hungry.  However, I did have this amazing head pressure that wouldn't go away.   I started feeling it about the same time I started feeling the nausea.  It feels like I've got my head saran wrapped to a piece of board and it's wrapped really tight around my head.  I can feel the pressure in my forehead and scalp just pushing up against my skull.  I got kind of scared last night that it was my high blood pressure, or something similar.  I tried to do some deep breathing to calm myself down, and that seemed to help.  I still have the problem today, it just isn't as bad.

Today was my lazy day.  Arthur had to go to work at 6:30 and be there at 7.  I woke up that early and tried to go back to sleep.  I couldn't until a little later in the morning after I'd eaten something.  I usually don't feel nausea right away when I wake up, which is weird considering that morning sickness is called morning sickness because of how early you usually feel it.  I don't start feeling it until I've been awake at least an hour.

I ate a lot today, but only because I felt extra nauseous.  I made myself French Toast, I had a salad with ranch dressing and green peppers.  I also had a peach and some french fries that I made in the oven.  All delicious things.  :)

Tonight we went to my nephew Adam's birthday party.  I took a bunch of really cute pictures.  I'll try to get them up in this entry a little later.  I would do it now, but the camera is far away and I'll need to upload the pictures. 

Tonight I spent some time at Arthur's mom's house and I was trying to help with some legal things that his brother is dealing with.  I really hope it will work out, and I believe it will if his brother gets more involved. 

How far along:  6 Weeks, 2 days
How much time left:  33 weeks, 5 days
Top two symptoms:  Head pressure and nausea.  The head pressure is the worst part. 

Favorite thing I ate today:  The French Toast I made myself for breakfast.  So delicious, and so easy!  Who would have thought I could cook French Toast?!

Mood:  Today I felt good, due to multiple distractions.  Being around people doesn't allow me to dwell on my symptoms.  I need to remember that.

Worried about:   This darn head pressure.  It's driving me crazy.  It never goes away except for when I'm lying down and about ready to sleep. 

Excited for:  Telling my family on Thursday and Friday.  They will all be so surprised!!  :)

I think I might be...

PREGNANT!  My goodness, I never thought I would really have too many symptoms... but I think on week 6, someone slipped me a pregnancy symptom pill.  I am definitely pregnant now.

I didn't get to blog yesterday because we had an activity in the evening with Brielle and Mike after work.  Arthur and I bought tickets to Disney on Ice back in August, and we wanted to take Brielle to it since she loves Princesses these days.  She was so good, and so happy the whole time.  We went to the Cheesecake Factory at City Creek.  Brielle ordered Mac and Cheese, and she loved it.  She was saying "yum, yum, yum!" over and over again.  It was so cute.

Today was a really rough day.  I really struggled to get through it.  It started out rough, even.  I had a terrible dream that I miscarried... and I was so sad when I woke up.  I know that it wasn't real, though... and that brought me peace and comfort to know that I was actually still pregnant.  Even though I wanted this for so long, and tried and wished and hoped... I didn't really think through the other stuff that comes with it.  I know that when I wasn't pregnant, I told myself that I would embrace any symptom or event that came with it.  I obviously underestimated my ability to stay sane about it.  :)  I just have to keep focusing on the positive and it will all turn out ok.

Today was also rough for other reasons... I had some insecurity issues, some worries about not being liked, and some worries about whether or not I was a good enough friend.  I always think that certain childhood feelings of being left out, or being taken for granted would go away as an adult, and they don't.  I just have to remember that I am not in control of everything, and I have to focus on what I am able to be a part of.

My biggest struggle today aside from not feeling good enough, was feeling physically gross.  I was exhausted, had a headache, and was dealing with a mental block that was almost too big to see past.  I realized that I needed to take a break and so on my lunch I went out and took a nap in my car.  It helped a lot.  I was able to finish up my day OK.

How far along:  6 Weeks TODAY!!
How much time left:  34 Weeks
Top two symptoms:  Today I will pick three because I had 3.  Mental block, exhaustion and nausea in that order.  I tried to snack on saltines and beef jerky throughout the day and that really helped my nausea.  The mental block thing has got to go, though.  I also fought to keep my eyes open most of the day. 

Favorite thing I ate today:  A doughnut from 711 and a slurpee.  I needed a sugar boost after my nap because otherwise, I wasn't going to make it through the day.

Mood:  Today I was G-R-U-M-P-Y.  With all capital letters.  It was awful.  I really tried to stay positive, but being so grumpy didn't allow me to focus on much of anything aside from the stuff that was making me mad.  I will make a conscious effort to be happy tomorrow, and not grumpy.  :)

Worried about:   Thanksgiving at my house.  It's going to be a lot of stress, and I hope that I make it through the day.  Arthur and his mom will probably cook the most part of the meal and I might be able to help with a few things... also, I'll probably spend the day cleaning.  I'm *so glad* I have Thanksgiving and the day after off. 

Excited for:  This trimester to pass.  I am really looking forward to December 14, which is when I will get to hear my baby's heartbeat the first time.  And right now, I'm excited for sleep.  ;)

Death by Nausea

I think the morning (or night) sickness is starting to get real. Oh boy. Where are my saltines!?!?!

x___x

2 days late and a meal short

I haven't blogged in 3 days.  I feel terrible.  Sunday and Monday were such busy days for me, I didn't have a chance to sit down and blog. 

I think I'll give the Campbells Soup version of my past two days so I can get caught up.  

On Sunday, I spent the day doing chores and preparing for an interview I had on Monday.  The job is for an Instructional Designer on the training team.

On Monday, I had the interview.  It went ok.  Afterwards, I didn't feel super excited about how it went, or super bad.  I feel like it went the way it should have gone, and that gave me peace.  If I make it through to the next round, I will have an interview next week. 

After work, Arthur and I went to Shane Co. to get my ring.  We dropped it off on Saturday to have it cleaned.  It was so sparkly!  I've never had it cleaned before, and I've had it for 4 1/2 years. 

Today has been good, not too busy.  I've appreciated the extra time to get some stuff done.  I only had a few meetings and a couple of interviews for people who were applying for our team. 

How far along:  5 Weeks, 5 days
How much time left:  34 Weeks, 2 days
Top two symptoms:  Nausea and Exhaustion.  Today my nausea has been over the top.  I have been getting hungry every 10 minutes or so after I eat.  And it isn't like how I normally feel, where I'm just munchy... it's like a pit in my stomach that makes me want to eat as many things as I can get my hands on.  I thought for sure that cravings and hunger were a myth, but they're not.  I kept telling myself that I was grateful to have these pregnancy symptoms because it means that everything is still ok down there.  :)  Exhaustion has been ridiculous today...  I had to take a nap at lunchtime in my car to feel normal the rest of the day.  :(

Favorite thing I ate today:  Apple slices that my friend Ashley gave me.  They saved the nauseous day!

Mood:  Today my mood was slightly annoyed and frustrated with how I was feeling.  I almost feel like my head is nailed to a piece of wood and I can feel this constant, dull pressure.  That led how I felt the whole day.  I tried to be really positive though, because I know that this is what I've been wanting for so long. 

Worried about:   I'm telling my family in a week that I'm pregnant.  Although I'm excited, I realized that it's coming very fast.  I need to prepare for it.  I also worry about the way I'm feeling physically.  I know that it's normal, but I wish that I had some reassurance from a doctor that I'm ok.  *sigh*

Excited for:  I'm also excited to tell my family.  I am looking forward to the happy tears and the questions about when, and how far along.  Not a lot of people know right now, and the more people that know, the better.  I like to talk about it, and it's helpful to get the additional hope from others.  I want to talk to others who have been through this first part who can reassure me that it's normal.  I'm not really talking about my symptoms with anyone who has felt this way, so I hope I'm normal.  But, I do appreciate more than anything the support that I have had so far.  Without the few that I have shared this with, I wouldn't have been able to get through it with such positivity.  :)

Caturday Saturday

Today was a really lazy Saturday.  We were both home all day and didn't get much accomplished.  We did do some wrapping and that was really fun.

We were supposed to go to my nephew's first birthday party today and we couldn't because everyone was sick at my sister's house.  I was a little sad because Arthur and I had made him his first birthday cake.  Since we couldn't go up, Mike is going to eat it tonight and we're going to put a candle on it and take his picture.  That will be fun.

Here is a picture of the cake:

While Arthur and I were wrapping today, we played with a ribbon with KitKat.  It was really cute.  She is such a good cat.  She never gets mean, and she just licks your fingers if you pet her.  :)

Later this afternoon, I was sitting on my couch in my office, and Arthur came in to join me.  He asked me if he could sit by me, so I cleared a spot for him.  He asked why I hadn't opened up my Eric Carle books, and I told him I was saving them for when our baby is here.  He said he wanted me to read the Hermit Crab one, so I did.  Out loud.  He said he loved it when he was little, so I did it.  You could tell he enjoyed hearing me read a kid's book.  It was a fun moment, and it made me look forward to having those moments with a baby with us too.

Tonight, Arthur is making Pineapple Curry and Pad Thai.  It's my favorite meal.  So good!

Tomorrow is chore day and also I need to prepare for an interview I have on Monday.  I'm not sure if I really want the job because of the added stress and the additional time I'll have to take off to have my baby.  I'm still debating whether or not I'll bring it up in the interview.

If I do get the job, it would be a great opportunity, and a raise.  Who doesn't like a raise?!

How far along:  5 Weeks, 2 days
How much time left:  34 Weeks, 5 days
Top two symptoms:  Exhaustion x 2

Favorite thing I ate today:  I haven't eaten it today, but when I do, it will be Pad Thai.  *DROOL*

Mood:  My mood was good today, but mostly because I was so tired, I struggled to feel super happy.  I think I've felt closer to Arthur today than I've felt in awhile.  I think it's because I had that bad dream last night and I never want to feel that angry at him. 

Worried about:   I hope my exhaustion isn't related to something that is wrong with my baby.  I am sure it's normal, since I read everywhere that exhaustion is just a part of the first trimester.  I'm also a little worried about my job interview and how it could affect my world if I get the job.

Excited for:  As I was decorating the cake for baby Adam last night, I kept thinking about what I would do for my baby's first birthday.  I'll probably do it inside/outside since it's going to be in July.  We might even do a combined party for the July birthdays... but I would prefer to have our own party so my baby can eat a whole cake by themselves.  :)

Bad dream

This morning, Arthur needed to get up to go to work by 7:30 AM.  It snowed all night and we have at least 5 inches outside.  I woke up at 7:10 and realized that his alarm didn't go off an hour earlier like it was supposed to since it's a Saturday and it's just set for weekdays.  Because of the snow and because of his bald tires, he decided not to go in.  We both went back to sleep.  I am cursed with this problem of not being able to go back to sleep once I'm up... and so I was skeptical that I'd be able to do it.

I heard a loud chirp sound as I was going back to sleep and realized it was the fire detector with a low battery.  I told Arthur I wasn't going to be able to sleep until he fixed it.  He got up and fixed 3 different detectors that were beeping.  Bless his tired heart.  He has been achy too, because he spent his whole day off moving his cousin from her apartment to her house.  He actually packed up and moved everything for her, and had a little bit of help, but did most of it himself.  Because it's family, he's obviously not going to ask for any money.

So he had to work all day on his lieu day so he could work all day today.  He's still hurting this morning and so I felt bad asking him to climb to the ceiling to get the smoke alarms... but they drive me nuts when they're going off.

We were both able to drift off to sleep after the fire alarms were fixed.  I was dreaming that Arthur was buying all of this weird home decor, like wall paintings, and wallpaper, and paint.  In my dream, he completely remodeled the kitchen with a pepper/tomato theme.  I kept asking him why and he just kept giving me dumb answers like "You shouldn't be asking that.  I can remodel if I want.  It's my house too."  I couldn't believe it, because I would never consider doing something that drastic with talking to him first.

The next part of my dream I kept noticing all of these things that I didn't recognize... receipts, other random purchases that I didn't know about.  In my dream, he was sitting on a couch cutting up something paper, and I noticed he had an iPad Mini on his lap.  I asked him if he bought that.  He said yes.  I also noticed an iPad 3.  I asked him if it was his.  He said yes.  So he had purchased all of these expensive things without even telling me.  We had recently cashed in my stock and so I couldn't understand why he'd buy these things and not tell me about it, especially since it came from my stocks.

I got so angry in my dream, I yelled at him, and I even swore at him.  I think my anger came from somewhere completely unrelated to electronics and home remodeling.  I think that I was frustrated because he wasn't communicating with me.  And I really can't handle these kinds of things at all.  I know my body was processing through some unknown stress, but it was awful to feel so angry at him.  He has gotten really good at talking to me about big purchases and I have gotten really good about letting some little things go.  It's the balance that comes with marriage.

I think I worry that this could affect me later on when I have a child... when we really do need the money and must communicate about things like this.  He obviously is not going to do anything like this, but it was still scary.  The feelings were real and so I know that I needed to deal with them.

Ultimately, I have to look at the dream in a positive way.  My cousin Ashley once told me that we have bad dreams so we can appreciate how good things actually are.  When I compare how I felt in that dream to how I feel normally, there is no comparison.  I don't deal with those emotions in real life because he has gotten better at communicating with me.

I have more to blog about, so I'll do that later on, but I just needed to get this off my chest.

All is well, I'm awake and I've escaped my dream.  Maybe I can have a nap later today.  :)