Friday... Friday... Which seat should I take?

Happy Friday!!  Today feels like a Saturday, though, because I worked from home this morning and I had the rest of the day off.  Arthur's Great Grandma died last week and she was up in Washington.  They brought her back here to be buried next to her husband in Sandy.  Arthur was really supportive of me when my Grandpa died so I wanted to do the same for him.

It was a nice funeral, and I loved hearing about Arthur's family history.  I don't know much about it, and so whenever I can hear cool stories like I heard today, I love that.  I found out that his Grandma Nelson loved to play games.  I think that is where his dad got it from, and so now I feel differently about the game playing extravaganzas that his family has.  Qatan, anyone?  :)

After the funeral, Arthur and I went shopping for Adam's birthday presents.  He is turning 1 on Sunday, 11/11/12.  I am excited for the party.  I love birthday parties for my niece or nephews.  I sort of blame Brielle and Jackson for making me want kids again.  I had thought for a long time that I don't want kids.  And then when I got to hold and play with them, I realized that I wanted one of my own.  I guess that's what Baby Hungry is. 

There is always the random, occasional person who asks us when we are having kids.  It's usually family and since we're not telling anyone yet, it's difficult to keep a straight face or play it off like "it's just not time yet."  I am looking forward to when I can grin and say "In July!!!"  :)

I read some rubbish online today that says that children who are born in July are least likely to become CEOs.  They say it's because leaders are usually those who are always the oldest in their school class, and those who are developmentally younger (born in June, July, August before the cutoff date) are usually less likely to be leaders.  I don't believe that.  I am going to instill leadership in my children regardless of when they are born.  I was born in May and I was one of the youngest in my class, and I still am a great leader.  So there!!  If my child is reading this some day, know that the only person who can determine your ability to be a leader, and the only person who can judge your success is you.  If anyone ever tries to tell you that you are not good enough, then they obviously don't know you. 

How far along:  5 Weeks, 1 day
How much time left:  34 Weeks, 6 days
Top two symptoms:  Exhaustion and hunger (still)

Favorite thing I ate today:  Three things.  Sweet potato chips, Funeral potatoes and this delicious peach. 

Mood:  I've felt a bit weepy today, but I think that's due to the funeral and the fact that my mom had surgery yesterday.  I do go from normal to teary really easily.  It's hard for me to control my emotions right now.

Worried about: I had a slight worry about finances today.  About all of the things we are going to need to buy for a baby.  We have nothing... we just have a room and that's it.  We will need a crib, drawers, clothing, diapers... ugh!!  Now I know why people have baby showers.  I think I'm going to ask for Babies R Us gift cards for Christmas, lol.  In all honesty, I know that Arthur and I will be fine.  We have some time before next July and we just need to make sure we are planning on adding some additional expenses to our list. 

Excited for:  I am excited for our baby's first Christmas.  I thought about that moment on Christmas morning next year and I imagined bringing our baby downstairs and opening presents as a family.  It made me tear up, and it made me excited all at the same time.  I wish it was now!!  :)

2 for 1

I forgot to blog yesterday, so today is a 2 for 1.  :)  Well, I didn't forget, I just didn't have time.  Yesterday was one of the most busy days I've had in a long time.  I had to be to work at 8:00, and then I had back-to-back meetings all day, until 6:00 PM.  I left work right at 6:00 PM and headed downtown.

I had plans with my friend to go see a documentary at the SLC Downtown Library at a free screening.  The movie is called Birth Story: Ina May Gaskin & The Farm Midwives.  It's about a woman who was a leader for Midwifery in the US during the hippy era.  She had a community on a farm in Tennessee and had a group of other Midwives who helped with the births in the town.

It was really interesting to see this completely different method of birthing, outside of the normal hospital environment.  It really intrigued me.

After the movie, there was a panel discussion and the audience could ask questions.  I asked a question.  I asked the 4 ladies at the front what I could do to learn more about getting involved with a Midwife before I got too involved with an OB.  They said I could go and meet the Midwives at the hospital of my choice (since some hospitals offer a Midwife service) and I could tour the facility to feel more comfortable with the option.  It sounds wonderful to be able to enjoy the experience and not be numb and disconnected.  I want to be involved and aware of everything that happens during the process.  And aside from Natural Birth in a hospital, this seems like the best option that gives me the most control.

After the discussion (around 9:00 PM), I left the library and went up to Bountiful to visit my mom.  She was at Lakeview Hospital after having a small procedure earlier in the day.  I came in, and it was so scary to see her in the hospital bed.  She was as white as a ghost, and she looked so frail.  She was asleep and so I sat in the chair by my dad and waited for a little bit.  My mom woke up for a second and asked my dad to help her throw up.  She had nausea from the pain medication.  I felt so bad for her.  :(

I talked to the nurses and asked them if they could give her something for her nausea and also some less strong pain medication.  She came in and gave my mom something less strong and said she couldn't give her any more anti nausea because she'd already had quite a bit.

I gave my mom some water and some peppermint and she seemed to relax a bit, so I felt like I could leave.  It was about 10:20 by this point.  I got in the car and drove home.  By the time I got there, it was close to 11:30.  I was so tired.

I'm going to head up there today and see her after work.  I hope she's feeling a little bit better.  Maybe I'll take her some flowers.

How far along:  5 Weeks TODAY!
How much time left:  35 weeks
Top two symptoms:  Exhaustion and hunger

Favorite thing I ate today:  Yesterday I didn't eat hardly anything and today so far, it's this veggie sub.

Mood:  Yesterday I felt busy, and disconnected.  Today I'm feeling a little bit weepy.  I think it's related to my mom being in the hospital.  It is getting to me more than I thought it would.

Worried about: I'm worried about not being able to know about all of my options when I have my baby.  I know I can turn this worry into strength by doing the research I need to do.  I also had a bad dream last night that my baby had some physical problems.  I think it's because of the movie I watched... some of the discussion about babies or mothers that don't make it through the birthing process.  I know that this is just my mind playing tricks on me, of course... but it was still scary.

Excited for:  I'm excited for when my baby is out and I get to hold them for the first time.  I also thought a bit about Christmas again.  I think the stuff will make it feel more real.

Election

Tonight was the election.  Arthur and I were both able to Vote.  I am so grateful to live in a country where each individual person can feel like they have a personal ability to contribute to the decisions made at many levels up.

I thought about how this election would potentially impact my baby and my health going forward.  I know that I didn't feel passionate about one candidate or another throughout the race.  I knew that I observed people who I love and respect get extremely upset as the results started to come in.

I need to focus on the positive things in life, and this election was another opportunity for me to know that I am in control of my world, and even if things impact it on the outside of my scope, I have to find peace knowing that I am doing whatever I can to be positive.  If I focus on all of the negative things related to who our leader is, and what his message is, then I know that I will always, always be unhappy for the next 4 years.

I know how important healthcare is to many people.  It is also important to me, because I am going to need it as my baby is born and beyond.  I love that I have a job that provides me with healthcare, and I appreciate knowing that I will still be able to get what I need even if I lose my job.  I understand that not everyone feels the way I do, and some people argue that it is a free ride.  But even if I had a free ride, I am not sure I'd take it.  I don't work just to have healthcare.  I work because I want a happy life and I want to enjoy the American dream.  Healthcare provided by my employer is a fringe benefit, and another reason why I choose to stay with my employer.

Ultimately, I respect my leader and I know that people who can't may be the ones who are going to struggle with positivity and feeling like there is a higher power.  If there is a higher power, then I know that everything happens for a reason and I can't be bothered with feeling disappointment or anger about something I had zero control over.  I think this is a great lesson for everyone involved.

A message to my baby:  Keep a light heart and a positive perspective.  Decide what you want to believe in, based on what you have learned.  Focus on the things you have control over, and leave the things that try to control you.  Love your neighbor and understand that there is probably a bigger plan if something is confusing you.  Appreciate that everyone has the ability to have an opinion and if you must disagree with them, then at the very least still love that person.  Appreciate having one true leader who has good intentions for the masses.  Don't take for granted our ability to share our opinions with others and our daily chance to influence others for the better.  Ultimately, choose love over matter.

How far along:  4 weeks, 5 days
How much time left:  35 weeks, 2 days
Top two symptoms:  Exhaustion

Favorite thing I ate today:  PIZZA HUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mood:  I felt pretty normal today.  A bit anxious with the political stuff going on, but overall I felt in control of my emotions.  There were a few times that I felt out of control when others were frustrated with things I had no control over - but I tried to stay positive and tell them the things they needed to hear.

Worried about: Something completely unrelated to pregnancy.  I'm worried about all of the people in my world who are so caught up in the election results.  I hope that everyone can move forward soon.  I miss my normal Facebook, and I am excited to get rid of the awkward taboo silence when someone brings up politics at work. 

Excited for:  I'm excited for tomorrow being a new day.  I'm excited to hold my baby and teach them about how to be a good person.  I'm excited to be able to leave some kind of legacy and not worry about just being another person living another life... I look forward to being able to make an impact on a life, even if it is a life I created.

Monday, Monday

Today was definitely a Monday.  I struggled with feeling awake today.  I didn't have too much of a stressful day, but the stressful parts were very stressful. 

I get to work every day at 7:15 AM and I work until 6:00 PM (or later), Monday through Thursday.  I usually work a 7 hour day on Fridays.  So, that equals out to be 50+ hours a week.  I do this because I carpool with Arthur every  morning and it doesn't make sense for us to drive separately an hour apart in the morning.  So, I get up and get ready and leave the house with Arthur at 6:45 every morning.  I usually wake up around 4:45 - 5:00 AM every morning. 

So, this means that I work more hours than anyone on my team.  It's my own choice... but sometimes I just get so tired of being there before anyone else and leaving after everyone is gone.  But - I know that the long hours will eventually get recognized.  Maybe. 

After work today, Arthur and I went to his niece's birthday party at Subway.  Arthur's mom works at Subway, and she made my sandwich.  She put extra meat and extra cheese on my sandwich.  It was so delicious!!!!

Overall, today was an ok day.  I'm looking forward to bedtime and a back scratch.  :)

How far along:  4 weeks, 4 days
How much time left:  35 weeks, 3 days
Top two symptoms:  Exhaustion and foggy brain

Favorite thing I ate today:  Subway Sweet Onion Chicken Teriyaki.  Deliciousssssss.

Mood:  My brain felt like it was in a fog today and I kept triple-checking my work.  I hate feeling like I'm missing something. 

Worried about: Thank goodness, I've been keeping a close eye on this infection and I think it's going away.  I have been avoiding sugar and fruit and breads of most types for 2 days.  I know that those foods can exacerbate a yeast infection... so I've had to cut way back.  It sucks not being able to eat chocolate (caffeine), sugar (YI), bread (YI), soda (caffeine, YI) or any other of the delicious things I love to eat that I'm trying to cut out.  I know that this is worth it though.  I'm not complaining in any way - I'm just noting that this thing requires a lot of sacrifices that I wasn't betting on going into it.  Don't get me wrong, I'd take a lifelong yeast infection just to have this chance to be a mom.

Excited for:  Last night I was reading about Postpartum Depression and some of the remedies that are out there for it.  This caused me to think of different things that I would want to do to avoid it.  I kept thinking about holding my baby close and feeling connected with them.  I got to do this with Brielle when she was only a week old.  I went up to visit my sister and she let me lay with Brielle on my chest after she had eaten, and it definitely created a forever bond between us.  I am confident that doing this with my own baby will help me feel more connected.  I'm excited to hold them.  *sigh*

Lazy(ish) Sunday

Today is Sunday, and I was both productive and lazy.  I had a really rough night, and slept in three different places up until 9:00 this morning.  I went to bed again last night after blogging around 3:30 and tried to get comfortable on the couch downstairs with the fireplace on.  I slept until about 7.  I then woke up and went upstairs because I was too warm.  I went to sleep then on my office couch until 9.  I went in to see that Arthur was already awake.  Since it was daylight savings time, I'd hoped I'd gotten at least another hour of sleep somewhere in there. 

Arthur and I had a relaxing morning watching some TV.  When our show was over,  He told me that if I wrapped up my chores then he would make omelets.  I jumped up and got cleaning, since omelets are delicious.  He made me a provolone cheese omelet with turkey meat, cucumbers and spinach.  I know that it doesn't sound amazing, but it's what sounded good to me.

After we ate breakfast, we watched Rock of Ages.  I fell asleep (of course) about halfway through.  After the show, Arthur got out the stuff to decorate the family room Christmas tree.  We realized that we our mantle twinkle Christmas lights were burnt out so we couldn't put them up.  So, we went to Walmart.

I picked up some new sweaters and tanktops at Walmart since I don't have a lot of things that fit me anymore.  I am not sure I care that I've gained weight, I think I just care that I look good in the clothes I have.

We came home and finished up decorating.  Here are some pictures from the family room!  :)

Here is the fireplace.  Notice the spot on the right for a baby stocking?  :)

This is Arthur's Christmas village.  Made out of Legos, of course!  Did you notice the cool edits I did with snow swirls?!  

 This is the family room tree.  We call it the "Red Tree".  It's much more Christmas-y downstairs.  My favorite ornaments are the red glass grape things.  They glow in front of the white lights!

How far along:  4 weeks, 3 days
How much time left:  35 weeks, 4 days
Top two symptoms:  Sensitive breasts and yeast infection.  (Blech!)

Favorite thing I ate today:  I'm seeing a theme... I LOVE anything garlic these days.  I had some delicious garlic bread with cheese on top.  *drool*

Mood:  I felt very productive today.  Anytime that I needed to get up and get something done, I was able to do it.  I didn't have to find that internal drive to start something, I was able to just start.  I hope I get more of those days soon, because it's nice to not think about pushing myself to get things done.  Now, if I could only find the energy to put 3 baskets of laundry away... :P

Worried about: This darn yeast infection.  I'm trying to manage it by not eating any sugar and eating extra yogurt, but I still worry that it will come on stronger.  I might have to go to the pharmacy tomorrow and get a Monistat kit.  UGHHHH!!

Excited for:  Today, when I was getting the downstairs tree up I was thinking about Christmas day at my family's house.  I imagined opening up baby presents like Onesies, bottles, diapers, and other baby things.  It made me a little teary when I thought about how teary I will get when I open these things.  I'm so excited!

Can't Sleep

I've been struggling over the past week or so with this cough that has been in my lower throat.  I thought it was on it's way out, but I just woke up at 2:00 with some pretty nasty throat pain.  I took some Tylenol and drank some juice so I hope that helps.  :(

I'm pretty tired still and I know I need the extra sleep, because that's when my body heals itself.  I don't like not feeling 100% ok while I'm pregnant. 

I also think I've got a glorious yeast infection coming on.  I don't know if I care if that is TMI, but I do know that I can't go my normal route of a prescription-strength pill to knock it out like I normally do.  I will probably have to go with the route of Monistat or some other equally horiffic thing.  Well, it's worth it I guess so my baby doesn't come with some random medication-induced deformity.  :/

I just have to figure out how I'm going to get back to sleep now that I feel so awake... 

This is the first time since I've been pregnant that I don't feel happy.  Ugh!!

Christmas Tree!

Arthur and I got the Christmas tree up last night... isn't it beautiful?!

I can't wait to wrap Arthur's gifts and put them under the tree!  Wooo!